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Falling for a girl with oral HSV1

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Hello everyone! I am new to this forum and I'm hoping everyone's combined experience and knowledge can help me come to a conclusion in my current situation. I met a girl who matches me very well, more so than any other partner I've had by far. I felt a connection instantly to this girl. After talking, we met for a few dates to get to know each other better. On the third date however, she has a cold sore. Via previous communications between us, I knew I could be direct with this girl so I asked her about it and she informed me that she's had them since she was a child and thought nothing of it aside from "don't kiss anyone when it's present." I've always made it a point to take the extra precautions regarding my health, especially sexual health. I use to be so paranoid that I would lose sleep over razor burn or an irritation from a condom. Now I'm faced with a situation that could cost me either my health or potentially my soul mate. I've done extensive research, I've read the percentages and such and even went through day after our third date to get tested for hsv1 and 2 antibodies to see if I had been exposed in past relationships and was asynptomatic so moving forward with this girl would be a non issue. I'm torn because everything I'm reading is essentially saying make sure she takes an antiviral (which she isn't, she's lived pretty ignorantly regarding this condition or so it seems) and pray for the best. Is it even possible to be in a relationship with someone carrying the virus and live happily and normally without getting exposed or should I just make out with her on an outbreak and get it over with? And if I choose to make the commitment, which essentially would be like marriage to me and it doesn't work out, then I'm single, in my mid 30s with the stigma of herpes that could have been avoided.


Any first hand experience or knowledge regarding this situation you all may have will be greatly appreciated!


Thank you in advance!

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Hi! I’m new here, too. Hsv1 oral and genital. Don’t forget there’s lots of misinformation out there. For oral hsv, antvirals are not the protocol! Not unless her cold sores are constant. For genital hsv1, daily suppressive therapy isn’t usually the protocol either! And, well, if she only has it orally, then the only way you would get it from her genitally is from receiving oral. Unfortunately, most of the adult population has hsv1 (really!) and is capable of spreading it to an uninflected partner’s genitals. So most people will present some risk to you, not just her! If you’re worried about catching it genitally, don’t receive oral, use a barrier method during oral, or just refrain from receiving oral if she’s having any symptoms whatsoever. Not everyone always recognizes their prodome symptoms, though, and that’s what landed me here. If you’ve researched, then you know the rates for asymptomatic shedding. And that if you catch it from her orally, now, it should give you some protection from getting it genitally in the future. I’m sure it isn’t easy trying to figure this out. Nobody wants to wait ito have sex anymore, what’s wrong with waiting? Getting to know each other slowly might be worth considering. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.

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