Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Hsv1 genital female and hsv (likely type 1) oral sexual partner need some questions answered. Help??

Recommended Posts

I have a new sexual partner who is afraid to touch me now after having sex together with condoms a few times. But the times we have been together, we connect really well intimately and are both missing each other.

I have hsv 1 genitally - I was swabbed at first outbreak around 8 years ago and swabbed a few times when I wasn’t 100% sure wether a sore was herpes or something else and to get to know my symptoms - everytime coming back with hsv1. I recently also had the herpes antibodies blood test which showed 1 is positive and 2 is negative. I have a visible outbreak around once or twice a year.


This new partner states that he has oral coldsores, but hasn’t had one for about 3 or 4 years. However he was Unsure what type, even though oral coldsores are usually type 1.

Our plan was for him to have the herpes antibody IgG blood test (hence why I had it, to test the blood test myself given I already know my status). However after visiting his doctor, his doctor has claimed that this test is pretty useless and denied him the test. Mainly because it can give false positives and negatives.. which is really disappointing. This was also confirmed by the Melbourne Sexual Health Clinic (MSHC). However MHSC also stated that if he gets cold sores, it is almost certain that he would have type 1 as type 2 on the mouth is very rare and more aggressive.

So now our only hope to ever sleep together again (in his opinion) is for him to wait until he presents with a cold sore and to have that swabbed, as this is the only way he can be sure what he has - but I’d dare say we may be waiting for a long time..


I have a few questions.


I understand that if it were to be type 2 on his mouth, it would be more aggressive and would present a lot more often and without 4 year breaks.


I am of the impression that if indeed it is type 1 (which is more than likely), and mine is confirmed type 1, then there is nothing to fear as we can’t catch what we both already have and our herpes types have both chosen their site of preference. Therefore, he can’t get type 1 on his genitals and I can’t get type 1 on my mouth.


I understand that we should still use condoms and refrain from sexual contact if either of us have an outbreak, but if we weren’t to use protection or if for whatever reason, the protection we used did not cover all vulnerable areas, there is still no worry as we both have the same virus - even if either of us are asymptotically shedding or presenting with the virus.


As I have hsv 1 genitally, I understand there is 4% risk to transfer to male. Does this percentile number take into account the use of condoms, or is it stating that there is 4% chance of transmission due to asymptomatic shedding and unprotected sex? If not, then which parts of a condom protected penis are at risk of the virus entering?


Similar to above, I’m under the impression that as long as we use condoms, then he is protected right? Because the mucous membranes are only on the head of the penis right? Are his testicles or the base of his shaft skin at risk?


Is he able to go down on me? And if we are both type 1, can either of us agrivate each other’s virus if we are shedding asymptomatically??



I thank you so much for taking the time to read this and really look forward to reading your response/s if you could be so kind.


Link to comment

Hi! I’m also type 1, oral and genital. I’m by no means an expert but have spent a lot of time googling. He most likely has type 1, but it’s disappointing that his doctor couldn’t have just humored him and given him the test. According to most info available online, an already established oral hsv infection should protect him from getting it genitally, and yours should protect you from getting it orally. However- I would not trust that 100%! Maybe others will chime in and say trust it completely, but I wouldn’t. Anyway, that being said, the head of the penis is not his only vulnerable area! Shaft, scrotum, all vulnerable to both types. Depending on exactly where you get your ob’s also could play a part in where he is exposed. For example, if your ob’s are on your vulva, perinnium, or rectum, scrotum etc will likely come into contact with that. But really, the fact that he already has type 1 orally, using condoms, and abstaining if you have any feelings of an oncoming ob, the chances of him getting it are slim to none! I understand he doesn’t want to catch this, bu the whole waiting until he gets another cold sore to get tested and have sex, that would be too much for me.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...