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The Ups and Downs of My First Few Days After Diagnosis

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This is my very first post. I have had HSV1 nearly my whole life so oral herpes is something I am unfortunately intimately and very painfully acquainted with. And after hating it my whole life who knew that one day I might be thankful?! Because last week I was diagnosed with HSV2! Does everyone have the feeling like the camera just zeroed in on you when the doctor says those words?! LOL I spent the next 24 hours rationalizing how I wouldn't tell anyone... not even my casual partner whom I would love to make less casual eventually! After all, I just happened to be in the doctors office for something else when he saw it. I had no idea I had it why does anyone need to know?! The fine people here convinced me otherwise...and disclosure IS the best policy since not disclosing would be a lie and would just be living in denial. Not a good way to live.


I think I know who gave me this...and I think he knew he had it...and I forgive him for it. Why? Because I myself spent 24 hours trying to sincerely convince myself that it would be okay not to disclose. He was just successful. If I wasn't having an outbreak then they probably wouldn't get it. Why should I mark myself?!


And...I was headed down the wrong road. I feel this was God's way of saying listen up Lady...you are doing things that are dangerous to yourself...physically, mentally and emotionally...Check Yourself! Now, I have to slow down and consider the choices I am making. I have a built in mechanism to weed out people who don't REALLY want to be with ME! I haven't been good at that in my life. Not at all.


I have made two disclosures to past FWBs who are now just Fs. And one disclosure to the guy I am interested in. He laughed! I sent him a great little article that spells out the need to knows without getting gory. It was everything he needed to know as far as he was concerned. (I hope it stays that way and he stays away from the Google pictures!)


Thank you to everyone here who has made the past few days bearable. I have cried just about every waking hour for at least a few minutes or so but I have come here for support many times already. THANK YOU to everyone here who posts such loving, accepting and supportive messages. You are doing a great service for alot of down and depressed people. What a wonderful thing!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok, I haven't gotten them yet. Every time my lips start to tingle I start putting carmex on them. The person I contracted it from I didn't perform oral sex on them or kiss them. However sometimes my tongue does get red and irriated so I guess thats herpes in my mouth.

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