Is herpes really that common??

[Miss_ph]

So apparently around 16% of the population have hsv2 but only about 80% of those people know that they have it. But if they don't know then how did this figure come about? I mean, I'm mostly ok with the fact that I have it. I had casual sex with a stranger and stupidly did not use a condom. So I have no one to blame but myself. So meeting 'the one' just became harder, but the thing is, as I was swiping tinder, i thought to myself that 1 in 7 or 8 of these guys also have genital herpes and they might not know. And then I got thinking, is this figure actually accurate? What kind of study was done and also if blood tests are not accurate due to false positive results, then are we all just spouting false facts when doing 'the talk'?? Thinking about it got me a bit bummed...

[Lifegoesonn]

Got it with a condom so don’t feel too bad

[Trying2Accept]

Sorry to be the one to tell you this- but that figure comes from autopsies! Many people who didn’t know they had it test positive when their autopsy is done. Also, the percentage of people who have it and are unaware is higher- That 80/20 statistic is actually flipped- it’s 20% know, and 80% have it and don’t know. Most people don’t know due no no symptoms or mild symptoms. And yeah, don’t beat yourself up about not using a condom, you could have still gotten it with one. A prospective partner is less likely to get h from you than from someone who doesn’t know they have it. And “The One” will be an understanding person who can see past your hsv status

[Miss_ph]

Sorry to be the one to tell you this- but that figure comes from autopsies! Many people who didn’t know they had it test positive when their autopsy is done. Also, the percentage of people who have it and are unaware is higher- That 80/20 statistic is actually flipped- it’s 20% know, and 80% have it and don’t know.

 

Oh right. How do you know that the stats came from autopsies? But still, does that mean they are accurate considering blood tests can produce false positives and um, well the people tested were dead so who knew if they knew about having herpes?

[LoveTheMountains]

Hi Miss_ph,

So I hate stats (in general haha, hated statistics class, not a math person in fact my career is along a therapeutic and outreach line so I am about the "story", not the stats of anything in life) and I've mentioned a few times on here that I don't really get into stats when disclosing to partners. One big reason is I'm just not good at holding number data in my head lol! My other reasons are because I feel its a little contradictory to tell people that tons of people have this and at the same time tell them their chances of getting it are teenie tiny. I've passed it to two long term partners; one with 100% condom use for one year and the other with antivirals for two years. Also, I don't want to convince someone using stats that they should be with me. I do share some general data about how common it is but I don't get into the percentages. But I don't really go into stats on chances of getting it, (unless they really start asking for numbers then I have to rack my brain). Ironically I tend to find myself in the situation where the guy is telling me "but I read the chances of me getting it are really small" and me saying "yah but realistically it could happen". So far the men I've disclosed to have really admired and have even gone so far as to say it made them like me more or was a turn on (lol!) that I don't sugar coat it.

 

However, because there are sciencey-mathy-smarty peoples doing the data crunching I'll take their word for it and just sum it up in my own head as yes, tons of people have it. I do think way more people actually do know they have it than are admitting though. Also, just to give you a little perspective on how common this is, click on the "activity" link up in the top bar (I'm on a laptop right now so maybe it looks different on a phone) and you'll see a daily list of who has joined. A quick glance shows me anywhere from 4 to 12+ per day joining THIS site. And that's just THIS site. And that's just people who even think to look for forums and support; wonder how many just go straight into denial or sadly depression without seeking support online. I once chatted with a guy who had H in a rural state where practically no one was "out" about it. He said he asked his doctor if anyone else had it because there was almost no one on Positive singles (dating site). Said his Dr. did a big eye roll and said "oh yah, its super common". I've heard similar things from pharmacists regarding valtrex prescriptions. Anyway, I try to not get to hung up on data, at the end of the day, it hasn't mattered too much. The guys who really liked me wanted to pursue relationships and others didn't, just like before I had H.