Feeling normal again...ALMOST.

[IcanOvercome]

Diagnosed in Dec 2017. HSV2.

 

I have felt pretty good for the most part. People are not lying when they say the stigma is the worst part. I only experience some feelings of sadness/anxiety when I think of dating again or disclosing. I’m on suppressive meds (acyclovir 2x a day). I have missed a few doses the past week & I recently switched to night shift so my body is a little off right now.

 

I’ve not really had any physical symptoms down there. At this point I only have a few small concerns or questions:

 

- Back acne. I started having a few (what appear to be) acne spots on my upper back. Red raised bumps that sometimes are itchy. I also see a black head. I’ve never had this problem before. Could it be H related? An outbreak? From the meds? Stress? Not enough water? I’m just concerned about this being a new constant for me!

- I like to stay clean shaved down there. I’m scared to shave too much or to cause irritation/spreading. If I don’t shave enough then the hair is irritating. What do I do? Has anyone had laser hair removal after diagnosis?

- Sex. I haven’t had sex since diagnosis and I know suppressive therapy, condoms, and not having sex during an outbreak is best, but for future reference... (given the other party understands risks & is okay with it) What about unprotected sex? Oral sex? I don’t want to totally kill the vibe of my sex life.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

[RegularGuy]

Back acne:

I have gotten this off and on since my 20s, well before diagnosis. It seems to be stress / genetics, according to my doctor. They can be both blackheads or itchy red bumps that develop into acne.

A reassuring note here: if it has any solid or thick material, or blackhead to it, it's not herpes. Herpes is completely fluid and usually clear when broken.

Generally, after breaking, it will tend to leave a sore that scabs over.

 

Shaving:

I was really nervous about it. At one point I thought I may have really spread the virus badly, but it turned out to be unrelated issues.

I'm currently using Nivea foam and a really delicate 5 blade mens razor. Sent free, dye free, alcohol free everything. It won't feel like you're getting a close shave because there is nearly zero resistance, but it works really well.

 

Sex:

It might be uneasy at first. It definitely was a little difficult psychologically for me and my girlfriend for a while.

Use the precautions you need to feel comfortable that you won't regret letting lust make bad decisions for you, knowing that you will eventually get more comfortable and less worried with a little time.

Herpes won't kill the mood forever, but it might spoil things occasionally with internal conflict about it. Better to let the mood be ruined once or twice at first that to let regret, guilt, or shame afterward ruin a relationship. It's actually really easy to let an awkward apology and a nervous laugh go than to repair the guilt of having taken too big of a risk.

Oxytocin, the "feel good" chemical naturally occurring during sex, is powerful and can cause people to accept risks in the heat of the moment that they normally wouldn't. Coming back down from the rush should be comfortable, calming and reassuring and not riddled with guilt or shame.