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Telling him before or after we meet for first time..

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Hi, so I was recently diagnosed at the beginning January from my ex. Since then I’ve disclosed to 2 people, both who which really liked me and decided they didn’t care. I saw the one guy for about a month and a half, we used condoms off and on but he never received the virus. I’m also taking antivirals.


I’ve been talking to this guy from out of state for months, we go to similar music festivals and got eachother contact through that. We have never officially met, but have spent tons of time talking. He’s been really wanting me to come visit, so I booked a flight and am leaving in 2 weeks. We are attracted to eachother and talk sexually so I know we will end up having sex.

I’m nervous if I should wait til in person to disclose, or if I should tell him over text before? I’m afraid over text it’s not so personable and he may not want me to come. Which would be shitty but I’d understand. But also I don’t want to go all the way there and it’s awkward or he’s angry I didn’t tell him before I came?

I’m really unsure which route to go.

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Hi! Normally I would say wait until after meeting someone to disclose, because who knows if you will like each other anyway, but since this involves you taking a flight, I recommend telling him now. Worst case scenario, he tells you not to come. But it would be way worse, I think, if you get there, disclose, find out he’s not accepting, maybe he gets mad, things become awkward, and you wish you had never gone there in the first place. That would really suck. But let’s think positive! There’s a very good chance he’ll be fine with it! Better to tell him now, give him some time to do some research and time to warm up the idea. He would probably really appreciate that. Let him know you’re on antivirals and that the risk of transmission is low. Good luck whatever you decide, and I hope you have a great trip!!!

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