Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Just wanted to vent


Recommended Posts

I am a 40 year old female. I've been disgnosed with HSV 1 and 2. It's been really hard on me. I am married but my husband doesn't have it well I don't guess. He doesn't even want to talk about it because his dr told him that unless he saw signs not to do . I am too ashamed to tell my family and friends and I'm really reaching out to a married person with kids. I have two young boys and I feel as though I have let them down. I have always pressed them to make straight A's but at the point I don't feel like I can have them be their best when I was at my worst. The part that hurts me so is that I never slept with guy we had skin contact and he did oral on me so I'm really confused is whether I got it from him or not because I should not have HSV1 unless I gave it to my husband and when I did oral on him I got it then. I just don't know. I'm just truly lost right not. I just need someone to help me out. I have been on this post for weeks but my mind set is still off. I have good days and I have bad days. I talked to my nurse practioner and she was very sweet about it. I felt better but then now I'm back to my depression stage. I hate my husband and I split up and I saw this guy for one time and now we are back together and years later, I have this. Some days I feel like dying but I know the insurance wont cover killing my self. I have starting seeing a counselor. I have not opened up to her yet but I am planning on the next visit. I just can understand my stupidity and how it has torn my life apart. I use to have a very bad burning sensation in my body but my nurse said it was my nerves and had nothing to do with the virus. I am on anxiety and depression medicine and getting ready to start seeing a psychiatrist. I went to out of town this weekend and thought about falling off the balcony of my hotel so it would be accidental. I have so many mixed emotions going on till I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid of getting sores on my mouth and I'm tried of burning even though it doesnt sting when I pee. I go to bed a night thinking about it wake up thinking about it. The one thing this has taught me is to educate my boys because anyone looks at me would never think I have herpes. I'm a very pretty lady educated with a nice home my husband and I have 2 cars and 2 trucks. I have everything in life that I could possible want but peace and happiness. This has also bought me closer to God. I believe thats why I'm still here because God won't allow me the power to go to hell for killing myself. I'm just asking for everyone to pray for me. I know some on here are stronger than others but I am one of the week one. I'm afraid to take the medicine because the one time I went in for itching i took the medicine then a blister came so the next two times I just used an A&D vitamin cream and it went away in a week. Anyway I just had to vent this morning. Everyone have a great day.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

I hope you have found some peace since you wrote this post. One error in judgment makes us human, not "less than". From reading other posts I see that there is hope, and this can become another condition to live with, and manage, without it obsessing our daily thoughts.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...