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Worried I could spread HS1 to a sexual partner!?

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Hello all, a few days ago I found a small, painless bump on my lip. Because I have a history of cold sores, and out of an abundance of caution, I began applying abreva, every day, twice a day. I've had bumps like this before, and they usually just stay a few days and go away, or they turn into cold sores. Nothing happened with this bump. No itching, pain, blisters, weeping, etc. It only had some scaly, dry skin. I decided to be intimate with a guy I see sporadically because I've had this kind of bump before and nothing to indicate it was herpes. Well, I heard a horror story from a friend recently about her brush with genital herpes (from her boyfriend who performed oral with a massive, weepy sore). I'm so paranoid right now. I couldn't live with the guilt if I gave this guy herpes! Am I overworrying? Or did I make the wrong decision? I'm so concerned! Thank you for your help!

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Yeah, it's possible to transmit HSV-1 (likely the type of herpes that cause your 'bump'), even without symptoms.

It is important to disclose. Even though cold sores are super common, telling a potential partner anout it before getting intimate and abstaining during out break are important.

If transmitted to a partner's genitals, they may be deeply emotionally effected by the sudden surprise of symptoms and subsequent diagnosis. Even though it's temporary, the pain, shame, fear, anger, and loss of sense of identity are very real and very difficult.


However, in the situation you described it seems best to recommend your partner be tested and not freak out.

The anxiety surrounding herpes is much worse than the virus itself. You can tear yourself apart with fear and guilt if you let the virus become an excuse to make poor decisions and keep secrets from people you are close with or just casually physical with.

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