He got HERPES from me & he's been having breakouts since his first OUTBREAK!!! HELP!!!

[namastepositive]

hello everyone,

 

As 2018 was looking up for me and I was working on myself, I had met this amazing man in a small town that I moved to and he's in his early 20's and I'm in my late 20's. We hit it off and I really thought to myself that this can be my next boyfriend. Well Valentine's Day comes and we had an unprotected sex. A couple days later, i notice him becoming more distant and he told me that when he gets sick, he likes to be alone. While I was at work, I get a text from him asking him to call him back because he has an important question to ask me. He later told me that he has bumps all over and asked me if I was clean. I told him I got tested before and I was negative. (chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphillis, and HIV) Well, fast forward to that... I got checked for hsv 2 using the blood test and I turned out to be positive. I told him about it and he got upset. Well to make this story short, we stop talking but I still genuinely care about him. I called him a couple of weeks ago and he told me that since his first outbreak in February, it hasn't stopped and he's had 2nd and now his 3rd outbreak. I feel so guilty!!! I keep praying to God that I should be the one getting the outbreaks back to back instead of him. To make it worst, I don't have any outbreaks what so ever. How is this fair that he's getting all the outbreaks and I'm not getting any? He didn't deserve any of this and I honestly feel like I just ruined his life. It's already May and I've been so depressed about the whole situation feeling so alone. I wanna be there for him but he's shutting down and the worst part is I actually really care about him until this day. I know that he suffers from severe anxiety as well and I feel like this is just mentally beating him down and I don't want that for anyone that I care about. I just got out of depression and anxiety the beginning of this year and now, I'm back in this dark hole again. I started taking antidepressant 3 days ago and anti-anxiety to help me cope. Please someone tell me that he won't be getting outbreaks consistently. I've read up on people getting consistent outbreaks and I'm praying that he's not going to be one of those people. I need to hear stories or see some light about someone getting outbreaks back to back to back and not having one for a while. He's on all the medications you can think of but nothing seems to help! Someone help me see the light of this tunnel and see how I can help him. I'm so sad, angry, and depressed with this whole situation. If herpes weren't here, I'd probably be in a strong happy relationship with him instead of this emotional turmoil. I'm mentally and emotionally drained thinking about this 24/7 since my diagnosis. I worry for him more than myself and it's driving me crazy. Trying to stay positive.

 

-namastepositive

 

[happyman_adventurous]

Hi @namastepositive,

 

I am so sorry all this is going on. Indeed, we feel very bad at first, because this is a life-long annoyance. But with time you learn it is a *very minor annoyance*, and your life won't change that much, and it won't change for bad - but for good, if you put some care and love in your new situation.

 

It is true, we get hit by guilt, regret, and worry. However, many things can be done, medically, socially and emotionally, to recover ourselves, no matter if we are the accidental givers, or the receivers. And all those tools are easy to follow and pursuit.

 

First of all, regarding guilt, you didn't know. You thought you were healthy. You had no intentions of giving it to him. How could you? It's not your fault. It was a hidden process for both of you. There's always a "what if", but this is like living in the past - now a new set of conditions are here, and we will have to intervene and make our life better, not more miserable - and this means that the typical "past fiction" and "what ifs" need to be relegated to the not-useful tool box.

 

I am a boy, and caught it with a one night stand with a girl, and I do not hate her at all. I am now concerned in learning about the virus and controlling it.

 

If I liked her as in "something is building up between us" way of liking someone, then after some weeks of soul searching I would retake contact with her without a doubt.

 

As a boy I try to have the big picture in mind: now things are different, I have this condition, and I will be able to manage this virus.

 

But this learning process takes a bit of time, even if you dedicate every day some time in research.

 

If I don't like the girl enough, or if the relationship was in a tender point (an early point), then unfortunately it is more difficult that things resume for the good, and he retakes contact. Not impossible, but difficult.

 

Regarding his outbreaks, if he is taking acyclovir with the right doses (example: 200mg 5 times a day, during 10 days, when having an outbreak) all should be progressively fine. He will feel normal very soon.

 

Now he has to embark on a small travel to learn about the virus, and to live with it, and pay attention to how his body / inmune system behaves with the new "host".

 

But do not worry, he will do it and he will be fine. If he takes seriously his health, he will be able to manage the virus 99% of his life, and keep it at bay 99% of the time, and forget about it enough as to live a plentiful life like everyone else.

 

Only a new protocol needs to be followed to keep it at bay - but it is easy and effective.

 

After the first 6 months / 1 year, the virus gets much more dominated by the inmune system. Getting healthy foods and some supplements helps a lot.

 

Maybe the first months are the more annoying, but afterwards everything should get much easier.

 

Something happened that you didn't want to, hence the guilt, but if you understand where you are at now, and adjust your life to this new place, little by little, you will recover your peace of mind 100%, and you will be as happy as ever, with this boy or another one, that will come into your life and will care for you and love you.

 

This soul searching period is very stormy, but believe me, there's a sunny place on the other side and you will get to it I am sure.

 

 

[FreeSpiriting]

I just wanted to add that you should try not to feel too guilty... You didn't even know you had the virus in the first place so you had no idea you could pass it on to him. I'm sure that if you had known then you would have approached the whole situation differently but you didn't so just keep that in mind!

I hope you manage to come to terms with everything soon and start to feel a bit better and less stressed. Chances are that once his body gets over this first but he will be absolutely fine!