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Someone please help me

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I’m 17 years old, a female I just found out I have HSV1. I feel so lost and so alone I don’t know what to do, I feel like my whole life has just gotten thrown out the window right infront of my eyes. I’m so terrified of telling my mum, I’ve told my dad but my mum is extremely over dramatic and honestly well scary. My sister has a six month old baby, I’m terrified of going near the baby now, is she safe? Is my family safe?? I have so many questions someone please help me I don’t know what to do. Is my sex life over?? I’m so confused and just so lost I feel like my whole life is over

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Welcome to the club, sorry you had to join.

We have all felt all of these things.

Rest assured that your shame, sorrow and anger are temporary.

It won't take long for you to find out you are still the same great person you've been wprking on becoming. Nothing is lost, nothing is ruined.


To answer your questions:

Your life hasn't changed much. You have some work to do to learn to appreciate yourself, but what 17 year old doesn't struggle with that? The only difference is that you'll just be better at washing your hands, probably take suppression medicine, and choosing who you disclose to and subsequently have sex with. It's not complicated.

Yes, your niece is totally fine. You can hang out with her, you can hold her. Depending upon the location of your infection, sharing drinks might be out, but thats not a big deal.

You don't have to talk to your mom about it. In fact, part of becoming your own person is picking and choosing what you talk to your parents about sometimes.

And your life is far from over.

There are a billion awesome things out there waiting for you to experience. One of the hardest parts of being recently diagnosed is having a very negative view of the future. Fight that. Realize that herpes isn't going to stop you from doing anything you want to do. It's realistically not even a hurdle to goals and aspirations. It may seem that way, but it's just an illusion.


Yes, what you are feeling is profound and very real.

But your fears and anxiety are just a temporary symptom that don't hold up to the real situation at all.


Start working on being anon1 and doing anon1 things.

Be kind to the people closest to you. Seek opportunities to be there for them. It'll remind you that you are valuable and worthy of affection.

Plan to do something fun for yourself, something you can get excited about. If you can't think up anything, ask your dad to help. Considering you turned to him, he will understand you need to feel what it's like to look forward to something. Make a plan to do that thing soon, look forward to it, and remember that feeling. It wil become very common again soon.

Take good care of yourself. If you need to lay in bed for a day, do it. Likewise, If you're laying in bed, wishing there were something to pull you out of it, get up and go find that thing.

And remember not to let yourself dwell on "how"" and "why". They are a bottomless pit of anger and sadness. If you have to think about that stuff, do it. But let the thinking be done when it's done and steer your thoughts toward the future. Make it a good future, one where you get to feel some contentment.


It you need to talk, or you find yourself struggling to steer your train of thought towaed positive things, reach out to someone close. If you can't, consider posting in the "herpes buddies" thread.



We're all on your team, rooting for you to get to feel like yourself again. We know it's totally possible, it's just a matter of a little time and a little effort.

You're going to do all the things you always wanted to do, all the things you've been working toward. That's a fact.


Start by training yourself to regain the pride, self-image, and confidence you have so temporarily forgotten.

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This forum is a great place to start. Your life has just begun. Your going to be fine. There are so many people that have HS1 its not a big deal..I know it feels like it right now, but it really isn't. A counselor is always a great place to discuss your feelings and fears. Or even a best friend.....Its ok... and its not a big deal....

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