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Herpes can find you the right partner!

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When I was first diagnosed with Herpes about 18 months ago I also already had HPV...something I had lived with for 20+ years. It flared up again after many years with the first Herpes episode....


I was an emotional mess, how could this happen again? Who would want me now? How would I ever relax enough to not worry about passing both on? When would I start feeling better (first H episode ran into the next and the next for 6 months)? How would I have the courage to date anyone and tell them I was a two for one girl...you know, the 'but wait there's more'...was it better to tell them I had HPV first or the other way around before hitting them with the second blow?


Dating stoped, I threw myself into work, dance, my garden and house DIY projects, cried, talked to friends about it, read everything I could about it...and I found this forum. This had been my saving grace. I haven't been on here for a while because....I have a wonderful new relationship that has pushed me to relocate to another part of the country and start a new life. This has been my focus for the last couple of months and I am now settled in and have time to reconnect here.


The emotional work the Herpes calls us to do is huge...but that's what it does and its a good thing. It offers us the opportunity to heal all our negative thoughts about ourselves (that we actually have before H but they haven't been challenged enough for us to need to deal with them). It forces us to make choices to improve our health in every area and to make changes in our lifestyle, work and relationships to feel good and feel healthy - and keep H sleeping!


My original thoughts and feeling around Herpes and HPV gone from a heavy and dark and sad place (where I did alot of crying and feeling sorry for myself!)to one of thankfulness. These viruses and their impact on my life have made me so much stronger and helped find the most amazing man who accepts them in my life and loves and adores me. I never thought it was possible but now I see how I had alot of work to do on myself before I could meet the right man...and when the time was right we found each other.


So if you are in that dark place, newly diagnosed, having ongoing episodes, feel isolated and hopeless....you won't always feel like you do now :-).


That dark place is of our own making, from our thoughts and the negative things we tell ourselves, from the way we treat ourselves. The light comes from changing those thoughts, being authentic and opening up to others, even when (and especially when) we are afraid of rejection. It's about becoming the best we can be, on our own, so that others are inspired by us and having Herpes is insignificant compared to the wonderful person we are.


Sending you all hugs and good thoughts, healing energy and promising you life is just beginning - with deeper connections with people, insights you have never had before, challenges that are part of any adventure and joys so deep they will amaze you. Keep posting on here, reach out, offer support too when you are moved to. I have missed being on here with some of the most awesome people I have made a connection with.


.......And as for sex (don't' we all want to know about that one!)....its not all over ;-) The best is yet to come (lol). This 'two for one girl' is having the most amazing sex ever!!! The H's have helped me find the right man and the journey has been sooooooooo worth it :-). xxx

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Hi Lelani,


i am very happy that you found the right man , thanks for sharing .

yes we need to heal and love ourself first,if not nobody else will do.....i am still working on that :) but hopefully one day it will get better.

I wish you both the best.Un besos grande.Judith

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Ah, it feels SO GOOD to have you back, Lelani. You so deserve everything you're telling us that you have. What an amazing man for such an amazing woman. Good match. :) I love everything you said about how herpes can challenge us to be the best version of ourselves we can be. It's so true. If we allow it to be a teacher for us, it will have us grow into who we truly are instead of the false imaginings of our lack. That is what people fall in love with, not the herpes. I love how it has reflected in your own life to such a large degree.


When are we doing the Herpes Opportunity New Zealand? ;) Much love to you!

Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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Lelani, thank you for sharing your story I'm so happy for you, I like to read success stories when I'm having negative feelings or feeling down and it makes me feel better reading about stories like yours, it gives me hope :) that's why I love this forum. Thanks for sharing. Jessi

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Lelani, I love you! You are such an inspiration. And your post gave me goosebumps....whoo! Bring on the hot sex! lol Keep the updates coming...we obviously all love to read them :) Really hope I get to meet you someday in person xo Beckie

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