Terrified I gave my partner cold sores.

[iamgemma]

Hey all,

 

Totally new here, never posted. I've had HSV2 for seven years and I have my struggles with that. Getting it was a rocky situation and it caused me to hate myself enough to stay in a relationship with an alcoholic emotionally abusive man for six years. We recently split up -- his choice, actually -- and to my surprise, two weeks after he moved out, I met the most amazing man ever. He's a treasure.

 

We had the talk, I disclosed herpes. My ex had cold sores, but I'd never had one at all. I suspected I'd gotten the virus because at times I'd have a small tingle and a red spot, often it would disappear within a couple of hours. I figured it was possible, but that I was asymptomatic. I did not disclose cold sores because, well, I wasn't sure I had them and because everyone kinda does (I've read stats of 85-90% of American adults). Talking about herpes nearly caused me a panic attack, but he took it very smoothly.

 

Well, last week was my birthday and I spent it with my new man. There was much kissing. In the middle of a several hour long makeout session, I developed a swollen bump on my lower lip. I told him I thought I'd bit it, but shortly after, it started to tingle.

 

I immediately checked it out in the mirror, and it looked like maybe a cold sore. I told him I was afraid that's what it was, and asked, "Do you ever get those?" He replied, "I mean, not like a lot." Or something to that effect. All I heard was, "I've had them in the past, even if it was just one and I was like five years old."

 

We snuggled in to bed -- did not have sex -- and when we woke up the next day, he asked me how my lip was. I ran my tongue over it and there was no tingling, no bump whatsoever. I decided I must have psyched myself out since I take twice daily antivirals for the HSV2 anyway and it would be super unlikely to get a cold sore under those circumstances. It was probably a lip bite.

 

Later that morning, after he left, I looked in the mirror and saw what looked like the remnant of the blister. SHIT. I freaked out but decided to just play it cool. After all, he'd kind of said he got them in the past, and I had at least an 80% chance that he carries the HSV1 virus.

 

Sidenote: I ran a full STD panel on myself just to be sure even though my ex and I were monogamous and the results came back positive for HSV1 antibodies, so I do have it. I just didn't know it at the time.

 

I kind of forgot about the whole thing. We've been spending more time together. Today he made a random comment in a text message about how his coffee tasted carbonated today. I didn't think anything of it and made some light comment. Later, he said he must have burnt his tongue because everything tasted that way.

 

SHIT.

 

I asked a bit more and he said it's like sparkling water on his tongue whenever he eats or drinks anything but he doesn't feel it when he's not eating or drinking.

 

I'm in full panic mode. Could this be a primary herpes outbreak prodrome symptom? I've scoured the internet and my fear is that yes, it could be. What are the chances? Couldn't I just be lucky and this guy would already have it?

 

God, I want to die. I don't know what to do. I would be devastated if 1) I gave this to him, especially after we've only known each other around six weeks, and 2) he broke up with me over it. I really, really, REALLY like this guy. As in, he could be the one. Again, only six weeks, but I'm a decent judge of character (yeah, yeah, when I'm not self punishing by staying with someone abusive, but I knew that was bad for the whole six years of that relationship).

 

Help? Advice? Thoughts? Prayers? Miracles? I need anything you've got.