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So The Weirdest Thing Just Happened...

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So I met this guy on Mother’s Day. He came to our house to install our WiFi lol. I came out of my room and noticed how adorable he was. With that being said, even though I am not completely or %100 open about my “situation” right now, I decided to go ahead and speak to him, you know...try and make the first move. Now, I know...I know I promised myself that I would refrain from dating anyone and become celibate until I figured things out for myself buuuuttttt...I just wanted to have someone I could talk to besides my friends...and also he was cute lol. Surprisingly, he stayed at my house for almost 2 hours talking to me after he finished installing our WiFi. We hit it off. We had a lot of things in common. He eventually got my number and told me that he was really into me. Of course I was super excited! After almost two long months of dealing with my newfound condition and feeling like I had to isolate myself from any potential relationships or flirtationships lol, I had found a new friend (a new cute friend).


Days then weeks passed and it seemed like the more I got to know him, the more anxious I felt about telling him about my HSV2. It is definitely imperative to give people a choice to be with you after knowing the circumstances. DISCLOSURE IS YOUR FRIEND! However, I had never disclosed to anyone but my bathroom mirror before. Yes, I am a disclosure virgin! Naturally, I was confused on how to do this. Do I suck it up and blurt it out? Do I ease into it? Maybe I should wait even longer? These were my initial daunting thoughts, but my fear was ultimately REJECTION. I felt like my heart would fall out of my body. My fear was that not only would he reject me but would he do it and sound disappointed, dismissive, or just plain pissed off? The judgement, the agony.


Scared and indecisive, I began to sit and think about it. The more I thought about it I noticed that I was going over all of these scenarios in my head but none of them were true yet. I realized that I was preparing myself for a fatalistic outcome that I had conjured up in my own mind. I had not any faith in this guy. I let my own self consciousness and pessimistic thoughts tear down my hope. I had lost some confidence in myself. I lost sight of how amazing I was. It became very clear that if he could not see past the HSV2 and open his eyes to see how amazingly intelligent, beautiful, and kind-hearted I really am then hun, he was never the person for me.


So I called him…


He talked and I listened for about an hour. Then I began to hint at a secret that I had. I was trying to be as vague as possible about it but he made a suggestion. “If I tell you a secret...will you tell me one?” I nervously agreed.


He went first. He went on to tell me about his ex-girlfriend and how their relationship was (all things I have heard before). All the while I’m thinking to myself, “wait, I know I have a huge secret buuuutttt what is he about to tell me?” Something I have never thought of before. He goes, “ Well about my ex...she never told me...she gave me Herpes…” This was the unpredictable variable. This was a major curveball.


I could not help but laugh for what seemed like 10 minutes, of course to him it seemed like I was laughing at him. I finally told him, “I am laughing because, well, I have it too…”

What an immense sigh of relief of relief for the both of us lol. We talked for hours about everything HSV related, the stigma, our own stories, our hardships, and our hopes for the future. I could not believe the struggle I had with myself to find the words to tell this guy something that he had all the confidence in the world to tell me. I admire his courage and strength. I will always admire anyone’s courage and strength to disclose because it is tremendously hard and does not always have a happy ending. Every single disclosure is an accomplishment for yourself good or bad, because you had the guts and moral compass to do so.


Conclusively, whoever I am with, whoever I want to tell, I can not be afraid to disclose. So you don't know what they will say or do. That is ok. All you can do is control what you say and do. You also need to have FAITH people!!!! Not only in yourselves but others as well. You should try to give people the benefit of the doubt because they just might surprise you! Maybe taking action will suck sometimes and sometimes you will fail. Maybe you will have to work at it, but this experience has taught me that any action is better than no action at all. And most times the best actions gets you the guy. ;)


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