Just diagnosed with HSV2 after 27 years of being faithful.

[stoneman123]

Like other posts I have previously read… I too am flooded with thoughts and emotions about how to talk to my wife about how I have contracted HSV2 after I have been faithful to her for 27 years. I have read the the virus can stay dormant in your body for years...but 27 years? I don't believe that I am that lucky or unlucky. That was the last time I was with another woman and do not know if she was infected or not.

Just over a year ago I had suspected her of having an affair with a work associate but had no proof just subtle clues and her demeanor and us not engaging in sex for several weeks and then her unexpectedly going away for a weekend to go Stay at the beach with an old girl friend she had not seen in years. I approached her one evening with the question “ Are you having an affair with Tom from work ?” And she was totally shocked and swore she was not. We even went as far as to see a marriage counselor for 5 visits. There was nothing I could do except to believe her and her firm statement that she was not seeing someone behind my back.

But now things have changed… I recently had my 1st outbreak and I really wasn’t sure what it was ... or I didn’t want to believe what I thought it was … Until I gained a medical Opinion from a doctor and a blood test which came positive for HVS2 and high in Zoster also. (shingles) This was my intro to herpes.

So do I go back to the question of her possible infidelity or the idea that it was hiding in my body for 27 years? How should this talk go? I love my wife very much and I don't know how to handle the possible fact that she has been screwing with some guy behind my back that gave us both H2? Or Will she come back at me with" So how do you know it was me that gave it to you? Maybe you gave it to me?" I don't even know she has been tested for it but we have had sex once or twice a week before my BO and 3 times after it cleared up. I made up an excuses several times during the BO. So now I have been prescribed the typical oral medication by my Doctor but have yet to confront her with the facts. So what do I do now? I am planning on confronting her but cant bring myself to just sit down and talk. It could be the end of us .... or the beginning of us living with HSV2 together somehow. I'm confused !!

 

 

[A_Guy]

I was just diagnosed a couple days ago and am in a similar situation. Been togeather over 15 years and then BOOM, no warnings or anything. I came straight home and asked her to come home without the kids so we could talk. I basically blamed her (only person I have ever been with but she had been with a few before me), and accused her of cheating. She said she hasn't, which I do believe but was confused and upset about the whole situation. After doing some research, I realized that there are a number of reasons why after so long that this can come up now. As to who gave it to who first in your case it may be harder to tell if both of you slept with other people before you got togeather. The shingles (Also a herpes virus) may have reactivated the hsv2 that you may have already had because your immune system was depressed. I would tell her soon and have her get tested. I read that a high antibody count means that someone has already had the virus for a while. My advice, tell her soon, don't place blame, come to her with knowledge and educate yourself. Make sure she knows that you haven't been unfaithful if you haven't been. I think that if she was unfaithful, she will open up and behonest about it.

[stoneman123]

Thanks Guy...I want to speak with her tonight...it is just so inconclusive as to where it came from on my part after 27 years. I feel it had to be her....but I do not want this to destroy our marriage which it could... if I put the blame on her. So we will go through this like adults and find our way through it.

Thanks for the input.

[Lifegoesonn]

Yeah just be straight up with her and ask her and even ask her to get tested so that will give some clarity , 27 years is along time I know that can be a long term infection but 27 years and no absolute symptoms sounds very mysterious to me

[Bambina3]

I would prompt her to get a blood test immediately, an IGg antibody....blood tests take 3 to 6 months to turn positive...once positive, positive is positive...you cannot determine when infection occurred...so if someone tests negatives, goes back in 6 months later and tests positive, you know it’s a recent infection.

 

Now, let’s back up the choo choo to our virus. It’s tricky. You may have been the carrier all these years and didn’t know it, or visa Vera for your wife. I have had h 1 and 2 for at least 30 plus years....(I’m 51)...i went minimum 28 years without a single breakout that would even alert me to get tested and I’ve had 3 natural born children. One day what I thought was a uti infection lead my dr to exam, test, and diagnosis me.

Racking my brain how could this be when I was diagnosed, I remembered being in the er in unbearable pain back when I was 18. When I called for my old records, it stated “peri anal ulcers”...aka h2. I was so horrified and it prompted me to join this site. My husband tragically passed away, I think I infected him too. Bottom line, all those years, no symptoms, no outbreaks, nothing, no official diagnosis, and I have no idea who I could of infected thru the years.

 

I’d approach it lightly, placing no blame, and ask her to test. It Sure might be rough, may have mud slinging going on...trust me, I know, I lived in the closet of fear myself. I still do not openly discuss my diagnosis.

 

Good luck

[stoneman123]

Thank you all who responded to my post. I had blood work done and had a false positive for the HSV2 AB. After further blood work done with the DNA protocal test the results came back with a positive for the shingles virus or Varicella Zoster. Still not 100% convinced that I have shingles on my junk. A very small BO without much discomfort. The Dr. seems he got the correct results from the lab. Fingers crossed that it is a correct result and not HSV2. Still don't want shingles but it is the lesser of the 2 evils ...I guess.

My support to you all...!!