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First Random Hookup/One Night Stand Post Diagnosis

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So here's a timeline to start. I noticed my first herpes symptoms at the end of February and got diagnosed at the beginning of March. I had sex for the first time post diagnosis at the end of March with a guy who I had hooked up with a few times prior (you can read about that in another post on my page if interested - and sorry if the timeline is off in that post, I wrote it really quickly :). Between that hook up and the beginning of May I did not have sex with anyone. There was a FWB I was "hooking up" with (not sex) during that time, but that's all (more about that to come in a post soon).


Then at the beginning of May I went to a party and there was this guy and we were kind of vibing and ended up making out and deciding to go home together. Before we left I told him I probably wasn't going to have sex with him and he was fine with that. TBH I did want to I just wasn't sure how comfortable I felt disclosing to someone I barely knew.


So then we went home, and did lots of other stuff and he ended up asking me if I still didn't want to. I asked him if he could keep a secret and he asked what it was; I said what if I had an STD, he asked which one and I told him herpes. He asked if I had condoms and I said I did and went up to get them. Before we had sex though I asked him if he would get mad at me if he ended up getting H, and he seemed really surprised that I would ask that and said no and that made me happy :) and honestly the sex was really good :)


I know a lot of people on here say that part of the good that comes out of H is waiting to get to know people better before you have sex so you have time to disclose, but I feel like that's not for everyone. I'm a college student who isn't rushing to get into a relationship. If it happens, it happens. But until then, I want to have fun and live my life and I hope this can reassure someone that the way you live your life doesn't have to change because of what is essentially an annoying skin condition!

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It's totally fine to have casual sex. But most importantly, you disclosed and got to enjoy guilt-free fun with someone.

You really did handle that situation perfectly.

Sure, in the future, you may miss out on a few opportunities. But realistically, so does everyone.

I certainly haven't slept with all the people I made a pass at. For some reason, Taylor Swift keeps ignoring my advances, but that's been going on since before I was diagnosed.

My point being:

There is your proof that you can have your cake and eat it too. You can disclose in a casual scenario, as well as in a romantic one. Because there are a lot of people out there who understand two important points.

1. That there is risk, whether they are aware or not.

2. That it takes a kind, courageous person to disclose up front before putting them at risk.

To most sane people, this thought process is readily apparent. And you found one of many people who think that way.

Seriously well done!


So, let the lesser men cut and run. They'd be doing you a favor because there are so many other people who are more concerned with hooking up with someone that makes them feel good about themself and the types of people they get intimate with.

Guilt free, shame free sex is super important. Keep doing things like you did! It will continue to build up your self-image and also help you to figure out that really tough question of "what kind of relationship might I want and what kind of person fits that goal?"

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