My boyfriend caught it from me because I was misdiagnosed and didn't know I had it

[unbreakable]

Yay for health care in my home country... They failed to diagnose me, went home thinking I had a bacterial infection. Months later I met a guy, after many weeks of dating and having protected sex we decided to ditch the condoms. I was his first girl, he had just moved into his own appartment away from his difficult family and finally had a chance to bring a girl to the crib, stress free. I trust him, he says he was a virgin so he was a virgin. It was obvious he was clean, and there was I thinking I was too. We had sex, few days later he fell ill, went to doc, was diagnosed with herpes. I went to another doc, too, then I got the diagnosis as well. I hate myself utterly. How unlucky does a guy have to be to catch an incurable STD from the first girl he ever bedded? We've been together since, for a mix of reasons... he likes me as a person because I'm very outgoing, and because he's afraid of having THE TALK with any other outgoing sexy girl he would want to be with. I'm devastated, even tho it's been months now. I'm so damned sorry about it all. And I haven't even mentioned yet that the only time (besides with him) that I had unprotected sex was with a guy who assaulted me... I am pretty sure I got it from him because once, after the assault, that stupid toad met me accidentally on the street, and started bragging me about how strong he is and how he can survive any nasty illness... I would drown him in a glass of water if I could.

[RegularGuy]

My girlfriend didn't know and I contracted.

She had been tested for "everything", but most clinics skip herpes when you ask them to test for "everything" because... Well the medical community is as reckless with herpes as they could be sometimes. Misinformation and misdiagnosis and everything in between.

 

I honestly was mad about it.

I was suspicious and resentful too.

 

But we talked about it. I asked her the hard questions, and she asked me hard questions too.

We did our best to be patient and understanding. Eventually, we decided that breaking up over -just- herpes would be a damn shame.

Then, when we needed to talk about it, we did so that we could move past feelings of anger and guilt.

 

You might need to do the same with your guy.

It isn't easy or fun, but it's worth it. Worth the effort. Because once the hard conversations are done, you get to move on toward a future that is easy and fun.

You shouldn't have to hold on to anger or guilt. You shouldn't have to hold onto painful memories.

You should be able to move forward with excitement for the future.