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Diagnosed Two Days Ago

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Hey everyone! I am 19 years old and I was just diagnosed with HSV-2 two days ago. I’m not sure how this happened. I’m always safe and I’ve been with the same person for five months now. We spend all of our time together so there’s no way he picked it up from someone and passed it on. This first outbreak has been awful, I’ve been nauseous, I had a fever for days, every time I would break it it would come back. I was on my period as well and discovered that using a tampon is near impossible. I told my boyfriend and he doesn’t mind at all, we’re just going to be extra safe. I’m terrified even though I have all the support in the world. I’m young, people my age don’t understand. I didn’t understand it before I was tested. I just need some hope that things will be okay. How long is it going to take for me to come to terms with my diagnosis?

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I just found out 4 days ago as well. I’m 27 and for the most part of my life have been careful or just lucky but thats usually how it happens the 1 time you trust someone they give you something you can’t get rid of. I’m not sure how it all actually happened to be honest. I was seeing a guy for over a month and had just gotten tested when we first started talking, came back negative. Then things went south and I ended it. Fast forward a few weeks/month or so I meet a new guy, things are going perfect/amazing/everything i could dream of. Then this past weekend i notice a few bumps and I’m like hmm that looks worrisome lets go to the clinic. After said and done doctor says the words i regret hearing the most “genital herpes”, cue uncontrollable sobbing and shaking. New boyfriend has none the less been truly amazing but i’m Still not me, i still don’t feel great and its hard keeping this in aside from the select friends i told. How is there no cure for this by now?!?! It’s friggin 2018!!

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Glad you reached out!

While you might not ever be super stoked about it, things get easier.

There are some things you can do to help yourself feel more normal faster:

1. Seriously compare how well you do things that matter to you to how well you used to do them. You'll see that nothing fundamental has changed about you.

2. Seek opportunities to be good to people you care about. It will help you to feel appreciated and valuable.

3. Keep doing things you've always done, and follow through with your goals. There is no reason for herpes to completely derail your dreams.

4. Think about the things you like about yourself often. Remind yourself that you are smart, capable and desireable!

5. Make a plan to do something fun just as soon as your outbreak heals. It might take a while for the symptoms to clear, depending upon a lot of factors, but you will feel better soon. So, make plans to go somewhere and do something fun. Look forward to it and remember that there will be a million new, exciting things to enjoy in the future.


Things I would advise against from personal experience and from reading other members' posts here:

1. Don't dwell on thoughts of anger, shame, sadness. If you have to think about it, go ahead and think it out, then be done with it and on to something more positive. Tjis gets easier with some practice.

2. Don't hold out hope for a cure. Trust me, you won't need to track research articles, if a cure is created, you'll find out in the news right away. Holding off on plans because you think there will be a cure is simply letting life pass you by.

3. Don't let fear or anxiety make decisions for you. Plans and goals should be made based on real world experience and rational contemplating. While fear is a powerful motivator, it is a terrible decision making tool.


Also, if you haven't already, talk to a doctor about getting a suppression medicine like valacyclovir. It will help control symptoms, prevent outbreaks, and prevent transmission / spreading.

If you don't know about the risk of spreading the virus on yourself or transmitting to another person, also talk to a doctor about that.

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