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Passing herpes on unintentionally - how to cope

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I'm with an amazing HSV- guy and now I'm having so much anxiety. I was with someone else for 2 years who I never transferred anything to and was always super cautious. With him we have a lot more sex and it's a lot rougher too. We also got brazilian waxes and didn't listen and had sex that day. I'm so worried that I wasn't paying enough attention to my body since everything was hurting a bit down there that day from the wax. He said his area is still itchy even though mine isn't anymore. Then yesterday he said he had a weird shooting pain down his leg and started having some cold symptoms so now I'm so worried and anxious and down. I don't know what to do or how I'm supposed to handle this. I couldn't imagine hurting him like that.

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As long as you disclosed to him and were honest, you have nothing to feel guilty about. He made the decision to be with you because you were more important to him than the risk. He knew what he was getting into. He's an adult and made that choice. Also, you have been living with herpes and while you may not prefer to have it, you've been fine, right? If he has it, he'll be fine too. Don't be so hard on yourself. You didn't choose to get it and you didn't choose to give it to him.

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