Just when I think I have a handle on it...

[Ah1227]

Its been about 2 years since i was diagnosed with HSV2...ive had outbreaks every 6 months since and have varied in severity. I dont seem to follow the ‘after the first one it gets lesser’ thing. I come to expect it every 6 months or so. Im not taking meds bc I wanted to see how my body reacted naturally. Well I just had an OB a few weeks ago, right on schedule. And now I have ANOTHER one. I dont understand. Im so distraught, every time I think I have a handle on it and know what to expect it switches up on me. I hate this. I dont want to start taking another medication everyday. I dont get why it happened back to back this time. My stress level is the same...no other big differences. Everytime I think ive dealt w how this will affect my life, I get hit with something else. Im trying to be ok but this one is hitting me really hard. I JUST did this...it always feels so disgusting and its hard not to let it effect ur psyche. Ive been able to deal w some of my shame but how can I live with this? How can I expect to find someone else who will live with this? Its dreadful. Felt like maybe sharing would help...so frustrated