i feel broken

[sadregretgirl]

i was diagnosed with hsv1, hsv2, hpv. most people have either hsv1 or hsv2, but i have both on top of my hpv. i feel so alone in this aspect.i regret all of the things i did in the past i wish i saved myself for my amazing boyfriend who accepts me for who i am and for everything i have. i feel guilty and that i don’t deserve him. i’ve told him everything over and over because i have become a paranoid mess and he has been so understanding and caring and loving. i’m not worthy so part of me feels like it’s self sabotaging.i had a dream life and i ruined it and if only i knew what i had, i could’ve given my man everything he deserves.i wake up everyday and the first thing i want to do is disappear, be reborn and start over. i keep going to the doctor to keep ask questions and i have annoyed all of them with my obsessive paranoia and spending money on other tests.i can’t function well at work or at anything because my main priority is to monitor what i’m feeling at all times so i don’t pass it on to my love. doctor today said i’m most likely thinking up symptoms even though they’re not there. does anyone here have both hsv1, hsv2 and hpv? i need comfort.i have ruined what was a privileged, dream life. i love my man so much it hurts.

[GeminiiGoddess]

I know you have had a hard time, but don't blame yourself. That is the worse thing you can do. (Easier said than done.. I know). First thing you have to do, is accept this. It's a tough pill to swallow, but it is something that has to be done. Secondly, it is going to be okay. Regardless of how you got HSV1 and HSV2 don't make it a burden. Do your research and inform yourself and your significant others. I was recently diagnosed and it was dreadful. I thought my world was ending, but in the end... its just a new beginning. Some things happen to get our attention, and in ways that we sometimes unexpect. You are human, you aren't different from anyone else. What I can recommend you do, is take your medications, do NOT stress and live your life.

[GeminiiGoddess]

I'm here if you ever want to talk :)

[RegularGuy]

Welcome to the club. Sorry to read that your view of your future is so bleak right now.

But, believe that nothing is ruined. Nothing has ended. Because that's the reality.

There is a primal part of you that is rooted in fear and anxiety, and that part is very powerful. When that part of you speaks, you are compelled to listen.

But that part is not always right. Now is an example of one of those circumstances.

 

Many of us felt that we had lost something precious when we were diagnosed. Many of us feared that the life we knew was gone, and the version of ourselves with HSV was somehow less worthy of our own respect.

None of that is true, though.

 

The reality is that nothing fundamental about you has changed. There is no new law of nature or physics which dictates that you must forfeit your happiness and your goals. Those feelings are strickly internal, and they are very incorrect about the subject.

You are valuable. You are desireable. You are worthy of respect, especially your own.

[Fast4shoes]

Yes you are not alone

[Nervewreckedkid]

Hello... I also was recently diagnosed With both types... Just like you I regret so much... I'm broken inside.. Borderline suicidal... I feel ashame and alone as well.... My doctors assured me that everything was going to be alright... They kept comparing it to the shingles... They told me not to play the blame game... One can have this for many years..Although I'm pretty sure who I got it from... In my 1st test the doctors told me everything was negative... I continued to suffer for about a month.. It Would clear up and I would seem to re aggravate it with sex... After wearing a condom all hell broke loose.. Against the doctors orders I disclose This to my girlfriend....

 

I wanted to give her the opportunity to leave and find love.... She gave me the same opportunity when she was facing kidney failure... my biggest fear is that I gave it to her... I dont care about myself... just want her to be alright... obviously she's concerned but I dont see her packing ...yet... I wouldn't blame her...

 

you have an amazing partner... I'm happy hes by your side... paranoia... anxiety... panic attacks.. all normal... no such thing as a perfect life... The owner of the jets super multi millionaire lost his daughter to to Suicide.... Believe me we are richer than him.

 

I hope this message finds you well