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Anyone out there ? Boy what a helpless and lonely feeling...

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1st off let me start by saying thank you to whoever created this website...


So I recently got diagnosed about 5 days ago.... I've been dealing with it for 2 months alone... At 1st I thought it was a sex burn and so I put lotrin ultra on it .... OUCH... Burn the hell out of my skin.. Tip of my penis... I was so scared that I went to urgent care.. The doctor told me that it looks like herpes... felt my soul leave my body... I explained to her that lotrimin Causes painful blisters... She swab both areas and took blood... She told me leave it alone it will clear up on its own... And so I did that and sure enough it began to.. Mind you it was a serious chemical burn... Came back from vacation and the initial doctor told me that my results were negative.... Naturally I was relieved... Had sex with my girlfriend used a condom and then all hell broke loose... I never told her what was happening to me.. Because of guilt and shame... Truth was that I cheated with my ex wife.. Not going to make any excuses... So after a few days of Aleve And some pinion salve.. Once again it began to clear up... Once again I reaggravte it... Mind you I had no idea of what was going on because the initial doctor told me everything was negative...


So I go back to urgent careThinking I had some sort of bacterial infection... Another doctor comes in and says my blood test revealed a have herpes... Once again my soul left my body.... Complete shock and utter shame..... I argued and said he was wrong I have the paperwork... He apologizes for the mistake...

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You did the right thing for yourself by reaching out.

Definitely avoid putting any topical stuff on sores / blisters.

If you feel like you need medicine to help heal and prevent outbreaks, ask your doctor about valacyclovir or an equivalent medicine.


You'll start to feel like yourself again soon. Focus on the future, because none of the possibilities have changed.

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I don't mind at all.

I had painful urination one day.

I called my girlfriend and told her to keep an eye out, because I thought I had a UTI. I woke up the next day with cold-like body aches and a mild fever. I found tell-tale tiny pimples on the shaft of my penis. I called my girlfriend right away and told her there is a chance I might have contacted herpes and that I was going to get tested. I told her to get herself tested, too.

I told her I was worried she'd leave me. She assured me that we'd just abstain for now and that we weren't going to break up over a medical diagnosis while everything else was going so well.

I left work and saw a doctor. She pinned it as herpes as soon as she saw it and prescribed me Valacyclovir 1000mg once a day for a week to help clear the outbreak. She did a swab (which obviously came back positive for HSV-1).

I called my girlfriend when I left the doctor and told her 99% chance it's herpes, pending a swab test of one of the blisters.

I called my Dad and told him what was up, then asked him to talk to me about anything other than herpes. We talked about work and career progression and cars. It helped a lot.

I eventually also told my mom and my brother about my diagnosis. They've all been hugely helpful in restoring my pride and my self-respect.

I met with my girlfriend in person and we talked about things. She reaffirmed that if we broke up, it woukd be because we didn't get along. Not just because of herpes.

My test came back positive a few days later.

I called two people I had slept with about a year before I met my current girlfriend and left them voicemails saying, "Hey, it's ((RegularGuy)). I just tested positive for herpes. Please get yourself teated." One of them texted back to thank me for telling them and that they tested negative.

My girlfriend tested positive a while later, and the titre count lead us to conclude she had it, but didn't know. She had been getting tested for "everything", not knowing most clinics skip hsv all together.

We talked about it a lot. I told her I was sad and angry. I told her I didn't want to resent her for it, but I needed some patience and support. She told me she felt guilty, angry at her ex's, and sad and that she needed my patience and support, too.

Slowly, we didn't need to talk about so much. So we talked about more positive stuff instead.

My emotional recovery and earning back my respect took months and lots of effort, but I stand tall and feel pride again. It took a few weeks to have sex with my girlfriend again, and we were both nervous about it at first. We used condoms, she helped me to remember to take my medication (went back to the doc to get 3 months supply), but we both got comfortable with time.

While recovering, I resolved that I'd keep working hard, go on my business trip, finish my degree and finish writing my book. I managed to do all of those things and I realized I hadn't changed at all.

Nothing was lost.

I also joined this forum and got some really solid support and advice from other members.


I didn't like the idea that other people were suffering the way I had suffered, so I decided to stick around and try to help. Now, thinking about herpes doesn't sting. Now, I value myself just as highly as before (if not more). Now, I'm a little more humble and a little more respectful of the things others might have going on that you can't see they're dealing with.

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@Regularguy .... Thank you so much for sharing this story... Im in a deep state of depression.. Someone commented to me this morning that I look devastated am I OK.... Boy did that sting... I know that after going through such traumatic experience I'm going to have some PTS and nerve issues... Woke up with a back case of anxiety.... Hands trembling etc... Starting to get my appetite back which I guess is a good thing... I do wanna sit and cry at times... I think you're an amazing person... Thank you again for this story

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I just found out yesterday and i felt the same way like my soul left my body. I feel like its a dream. I just can’t beliebe it. I feel so depressed. My mom and older sister know and they’ve been supportive especially my mom. I keep breaking sown but she tries to bring my spirits up and says that it could’ve been worse. Life’s not over just will have to learn to live with this now and still lead a normal life. Wish you the best @nervewreckedkid

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If you work on appreciating yourself and (if you have to) earn back your respect for yourself (like I had to), the feeling of "dealing with it" will fade.

Trust that you will be able to feel like you're just living again.

If you have to take some time to have some solidtude, take it. Use it to collect your thoughts.

If you realize you need to force yourself out of bed to try to engage in a "normal" day, do it. Use it to observe yourself doing your best to create the kind of life you want to live and be proud of yourself for it.

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@txgal... I'm sorry to hear about your situation... But believe me I know what it feels like... The initial shock of it all feels like a bag dream.... I was very angry and depressed... Mostly angry with myself for being so stupid... Not going to make any excuses... Was just with my ex wife and I felt Comfortable... I guess someone gave it to her but she still doesn't know it... I was empty and lonely at that time.. I still regret mine decision.. Im just trying to come to terms with everything...

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I am happy to read that you were man enough to tell your gf of your results and that you even called your previous sexual partners so they could get checked. It speaks volumes. I wish more women and men could let their sexual partners know.

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