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sex with herpes

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Hi Everyone,

I have a question, I am still with the person who most likely gave me herpes and so I was wondering if we could still have sex if I had a little outbreak since he probably has the virus too? I mean as long as the outbreak isn't painful. Everywhere I read that to prevent spreading herpes you just don't have sex when you have an outbreak but so far I haven't read of a situation where the person was still with the person they got herpes from.



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I would avoid having sex during a herpes outbreak, even when the other person has the same strain (HSV-1, HSV-2) in the same location on the body as you. Because during your outbreak, you are at your most contagious and could spread it to other locations on his body and your own (the liquid contained in herpes sores is SUPER contagious). The chances of spreading herpes to other parts of the body are less since your bodies have been developing antibodies against the herpes virus, but there's still a chance. Better to be safe and wait it out. And it doesn't mean you have to stop being intimate! Some of the most intimate, fun times I've had have been during a herpes outbreak where my partner got to explore every part of my body sensually except for my genitals and I got to return the favor. Ooh la la. :) Have fun with it! Don't let it be a barrier to intimacy. Let it open you up to other realms of intimacy that aren't just sex.

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Ok thanks Adrial! I didn't realize it could spread to other parts of the body.

You're right about the intimacy and sex, I just don't think I've gotten past the emotional side of herpes. It doesn't make me feel very confident in my everyday life let alone sexually. But I'm working on it!


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Exactly. I understand that totally. And just know that it's a mental block, not a physical one due to herpes. Hence why I call this place the Herpes Opportunity. It's an opportunity to dig into all of your emotional/mental blocks that each of us have around intimacy (hey, it's called being human) and clearing the blocks that don't serve us. It's about having more options in how we choose to think about our sex lives. What originally might feel like a block around herpes actually turns into feeling like freedom once you get past the shame and into the self-acceptance. I promise. And it's a process. :)

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