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Pretty sure I have HSV


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I recently found this forum after googling some symptoms I am having. 7 days ago; I woke up with inflammation. I thought I may have somehow got irritated but didn’t know how. The next day, i noticed a sore spot on my genitals and went to google. I looked at it and it was just one sore spot so i thought this may not be herpes. The next day, I had a cluster of sores in that area and two random ones in a different area. Now I’m fairly sure that I have the virus and now I think I know when I got it.

Last February, I met a really nice guy. This was the first person I dated since having my then 1 year old daughter. Her father and I broke up when I was pregnant. We went on multiple dates and on Valentine’s Day we had protected sex. We continued seeing each other and having protected sex. I went over his house one day and gave him oral sex because I had my period. I noticed something near the top of his penis and asked him about it. He said it was chaffe from masturbation and I stupidly believed him. For some reason I thought herpes showed up on men’s testicles and not the penis. We continued seeing each other and eventually had unprotected sex. He said he was clean. I now believe that he knew what he had and just decided to not tell me.

Looking back, about two weeks after one of our encounters, I got really itchy and sore down there but I thought it was from scratching. I now know this was my first outbreak. I feel so fucking stupid for believing this guy and not taking more precautions. Especially since I noticed something was off and took his word for it that it was nothing contagious. 

I have been with two other people since having been with this guy but have not had any outbreaks other than the initial one and my current one. Should I tell those two guys about my situation? I plan on going to the doctors on Tuesday to find out what type I have but I am certain that this is herpes. Should I confront the person who gave it to me?

I keep going back and forth between accepting it and depression/anxiety. I am 26 years old, a college student, single mother and dancer. So I already have those things not in my favor for having a serious relationship and now this. I have recently resigned myself to the fact that I will not be able to have a serious relationship until I finish school and am no longer dancing, but I feel like now I am just doomed to be single forever.

im so embarrassed and mad at myself right now. Sorry this is all over the place. Thanks for reading 

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I am here kind of waiting for input on my own first post, and I notice that it is super difficult to wait, so I don’t want you to.  Congratulations on motherhood, education, and employment.  I admire your courage in reaching out quickly for support.

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You could try an ice pack, an epsom salt bath, and I think baking soda in a bath (though you’d better google that one cause I am not positive!)  Coconut oil... I personally didn’t find that much of it helped any more than just cursing creatively, but it could keep you busy for a minute and give you time to think of new profanity.  I am so sorry you’re hurting.  

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Try not to be mad at yourself! It’s so hard but you need to think of the here and now and what is best for you moving forward!

I would wait and speak to the doctor before contacting any people you have been with. 

When it comes to whether you should confront the person you think may have given this to you, I’m not sure that you should. From experience, it seems that a lot of people are lacking knowledge or possibly in denial about any random lumps or bumps they find down there and he may therefore have not realised he was doing anything wrong! X

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