omg....

[Bliss]

I never thought that it would be me that has herpes. I'm so mad at myself and the main reason is because I don't even know who I got it from and how long I've had it, and there's no way I'm going to go through the people I've been with in my life just so that I can let people that don't have it know that I do. I'm 22 years old and I can't see an end in sight. I feel like I'll never be able to have sex again which means no relationships no relaxing no having fun no carefree mindset it's all gone. when I first found out yesterday I really considered suicide. I used to joke about people having herpes that's what makes it even worse. I read all these things that said if you have it you have to let someone who you're sexually active with know you do. why in the fuck would I tell somebody that I have that? that's my question because when I didn't have this or when I least didn't know I had it I would have never been with somebody if they told me that they did. I'm just so heartbroken so disappointed in myself so ashamed. I have this lump in my throat and it won't go away this constant feeling of being on the verge of tears if I'm not already in tears. anyway I just had to get that out in the open. I really can't see how I am going to be able to live with this in life and be happy. and that's all I want just like anyone else is to be happy....

[Donteattheworm]

Calm down this really isn't the end of the world and it sucks I know I just found out myself on June 29 myself and I did come clean to both my most recent partner and the girl before her. My most recent partner actually took it very well and we're hoping she didn't contract it. The best thing you can do is educate yourself about herpes, reach out and talk to people in safe places like this and learn to except yourself. I got very fortunate and my friend/recent partner has been very supportive and helped me over a lot of my hurdles and through the personal challenges I've had to deal with recently. Honestly a good support group is the most important thing to have. The constant nag starts to fade away after awhile and you'll find normalcy it just takes some time. I do urge that you try and be safe and disclose to potential lovers in the future. Honestly right now I'm happier than I've been in awhile and it has nothing to do with my diagnosis but the people who I have in my life.

[Bambina3]

You will have sex again, you will be fine,..I know...I was in your shoes once, totally freaking the f””k out,,,and several members here helped me back then. I’m hsv1 and 2 positive for decades.

[ScaredGirl89]

@Bliss girl I was exactly where you were about 2 months ago. I didn’t get out of bed, didn’t eat, also considered all those godawful permanent options. 

Let me tell you this; after 2 months of knowing my life is leveling out. I understand the OBs and what (mostly) is triggering them. I have a great support (my mom is amazing) I truly suggest you find at least one solid person in your life to talk to. Also, being on a daily antiviral has eased my anxiety SO much. 

I also recently dated someone-my first disclosure- he honestly didn’t give a shit at all. Like for real. 

Girl we’ll get through this I promise. Feel free to PM if you wanna talk more or just vent 🙂 

[Heyhay]

Pls don’t have dark thoughts like that, it’s something i lived with for 22 years — it can b contolled by Valtrex , but yes it sucks. I’ve been with 2 guys my entire life — I got it from oral sex from my current husband who had a cold sore ughhhh — young & stupid !!!! I been paying for it for over 20 years — I had taken Valtrex countless times , now I take it daily ughhhhh , it’s hard but there’s nothing else to do . I hate OB I get crazy pissed of moods right before outbreak plus the pain plus the headaches that Valtrex cause ughhhhhhhhh ♥️

[Bliss]

Im now goinh through my second OB... the terrible thing is I don't have insurance and I mean just to find out that I had this I had to go to the local Health Clinic who by the way made that experience probably the worst day of my life, but regardless of that when I left there they gave me a card that said that I didn't have to pay for my prescriptions and they gave me prescriptions to go get filled. So the next day I go to Walmart and they basically tell me the card is useless, which infuriated me because this is the one time I really don't think I should have to pay for prescriptions but anyways I ended up paying got the prescriptions I needed and my outbreak went away the first time. This time around I still have no insurance out of Valtrex and I haven't been back to the clinic since I got blood work done and the prescription I mean I haven't even gone back to see if I tested positive for herpes I just know I have it. I say this because when I initially started realizing I had it I got the worst flu-like symptoms to the point where I took myself to the hospital. Only when I took myself to the health clinic and actually got a doctor to look I will what's going on down there did that thought ever occur to me. The first thing the doctor said when he looked was that it was most likely herpes. Anyways like I said ever since then haven't been back, mainly because the specific health clinic near me is only open on Thursdays from 8 to 12. What kind of shit is that I mean I hate this like who the fuck is going to abuse Valtrex it pisses me off that I can't just order this online for myself I don't want to have to go back to the clinic I almost can't bring myself to even step foot on that property let alone go back, but yet I need medication I'm in pain uncomfortable as fuck and I've been looking online just to see if I could order this medication without having to have a prescription but nope they treat it just like any other 'drug'. They don't offer it online without a prescription and all I know is I just want some Valtrex so that this outbreak goes away It rules my life when it's an issue. Anyway in a nutshell I'm trying to say is dating or casually talking any man right now... out of the question. My only concern right now is how can I get more Valtrex ASAP, and I want to know if there's a way I can get this medication without having to go to the fucked-up Clinic that I went to to find out that I had this in the first place. I mean what kind of place is only open on Thursdays. Anyway another thing is that I really have nobody to talk to you about this who isn't going to throw it in my face or use it against me right when we have a disagreement, not one person, not even my mom. Yeah if anyone has any thing they'd  like to, shed some light on, or let me and in on I'd love it