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majorly concerned PLEASE HELP!!!!

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So I was diagnosed with genital herpes... it has been a terrible roller coaster of regret pain. Sadness and hopelessness. It’s been about 8 months now I was diagnosed right over Christmas lucky me 😞. I’ve been doing well have received treatment and it seems to be helping. ANYWAY I’ll cut to the chase. I recently have been seeing someone who I have known for years he is great and knows mostly about my situation just not exactly what it is just that I refrain from sex with him and I don’t let him conduct oral sex on me. THE QUESTION: can I give him oral sex without passing on my Genital Herpes... I have given him oral sex at least five times and I’m so paranoid of infecting him I feel depressed,sick and suicidal. I’m in my head and have been having a weird metallic metal burning in my mouth. The dr said that could be a number of things and not herpes.... I’m just so paranoid. Mind you I have never had oral herpes hsv 1 or 2 I’m just so paranoid. Any help please!!!! Sorry for the long post as it is my first one!

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Oh my. Well darling. I find being open about it and explaining the situation really helps others understand and not jump to the stigma that relates to herpes.  

Now on the note of giving oral sex. As long as youve never had a cold sore around your mouth you should be okay. But its always better to get checked. 

Theres blood tests they can do and swabbing on open sores to figure out wether its hsv1(cold sores can be on genetalia)  or hsv2 (genetal) . I think its always better to get it checked first. Then disclose it. If he knows the majority of the problem just be open about it.  

Plus. Theres daily supression medication you can take that can lower your chances of passing it.  

I really hope your okay. And if you need to talk feel free to message me. 🙂


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I just want to say. I was diagnosed 8 years ago. I was super paranoid initially..... but I am much more relaxed now. This condition has such a stigma because it relates to sex, there are so many much much worse conditions out there. A lot of worry is based on total ignorance and for all you know anyone judging you may even have herpes or something similar and not even know it.

There are many other resistant strains of STI's now, I am discovering. 

I found out that for me, oral sex for a woman to myself was about the safest act that could be performed. (..... naturally in the  knowledge that the other person was informed)

For me, if I met someone that I cared about and this situation was the other way around, I would do some research but i would still want to be with them.

.....for myself if you are open about this condition,  with each other (and its consequences (genuinely) then continue.... naturally do not have sexual relations if you suspect an outbreak.

People are in this big wide world exposing themselves to whatever comes their way every hour of the day..... and I was always paranoid about myself passing this on and forgetting about the other person may have lived a very full life..... and they say that when you sleep with someone, you also sleep (indirectly) with everyone they have ever been with and the other way around. 

If people want pleasure then the consequences have to be accepted and its naive to think otherwise. 

..... so as long as we're honest with our partners and mindful..... then stop beating yourself up about this..... just eat well and keep your immune system in the best shape it can be)

Good luck 



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Just now, hHelp said:

I am so sorry I know you probably explained this but! If I do not have oral herpes or cold sores present can I give my uninfected partner hsv-2 ?! 

If youve never had a cold sore on your face or mouth area. You should be good.  Its if you ever had it in that area that its more likely to transfer.  

Mine only transfered from my mouth to my vagina when he went down on me after making out with me and my start of a cold sore.

If theres never been any sign of a cold sore on your face. Giving him oral shouldn be a problem. 

Sadly if youve had a cold sore before there is a slight higher risk. So ensure theres no symptoms before and clean your partners "down stairs" after preforming oral. 

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Ok thank you! Nope never have! Just got tested again for hsv-1 but I have only ever had hsv 2 on my genitalia and never a cold sore on my mouth.... ppl are confusing me and I’m scared now to do anything to him....

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