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Hsv1 vs hsv2 different ways to disclose?

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Ten years ago I was diagnosed with herpes. The weird thing is that it's on my outter leg. The first five years of having it, I'd have outbreaks maybe 1-2xs a year. Then the past 6 years I've had no outbreaks. My entire life I've disclosed which has caused a lot of relationships to stop at a dead hault. I've had a lot of conflicting conversations with doctors over the years about how to disclose and if I even should. I've had doctors say I don't need to because it's not genital herpes. They've said it's HSV1 it just happened to live at a weird spot. I've never had it on my lip only outbreak ever was on my leg. 

At first I was even misdiagnosed. In college I had shingles on my back. About 5 years later when I started getting sores on my leg the doctor said it was shingles again. Two bouts of it and they kept saying shingles. Then a third time about a year later and they said herpes but not genital herpes. 

It's led to so much confusion. No man has ever told me he's had a cold sore. People aren't disclosing HSV1 so why have I been subjecting myself to it just because it's on my leg and not a traditional sore? I even take Acyclovir cause I have been so scared my entire life that I just took it to try to help the issue. I mean I haven't had an outbreak in 6 years. 

Im asking this because I just met someone I really like and am terrified to scare him away - over something like most of the world seems to have. How do I tell him I have HSV1 and it's not as scary as HSV2? HELP please.

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My take on this kind of disclosure is that it's always good to talk about anything that could put a partner at risk in any way. Yes, it's the moral thing to do, but it feels damn good be the kind of person who has hard but important conversations with partners.  

Ultimately, it's more about *how* you disclose than anything. Disclose with confidence and positivity. Disclose with integrity and courage.

And hey, you're totally right: A lot of people don't disclose. And that's a shame. Because these kinds of discussions are opportunities for deeper intimacy and trust, especially in the realm of intimacy and relationship. And we all deserve to have these kinds of discussions with one another. 

Part of the conversation you have with them will be in educating them about herpes, and that there's a lower risk of them getting it since it is on a part of the body with thicker skin and you haven't had an outbreak in such a long time. Thick skin = long-time carrier = less viral shedding, meaning it's harder to transmit (unless there's an active outbreak, of course). 

Have you read the e-book & handouts yet? Those give you a great framework on how to disclose the Opportunity way. 🙂 Here's a link to download them for free:

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