How to let go of anger?

[Gina99]

Hey everyone it’s me again..

its almost been a month since this all started and I still haven’t had real relief. 

The person who I thought gave me the virus said he just got his results back... and they were negative. I don’t know why but I have such a hard time believing him ... he moved cities and he just arrived to his destination and said he went to the clinic right away and two days later he has his results ... I just don’t know if I should believe him. 

My symptoms appeared 6 days after having slept with him... how is that possible? I’ve been in so much pain and discomfort and stress the past weeks that I’m furious to think he might’ve be lying just so he can appear not guilty. If it was him and didn’t know he had it I Wouldn’t be mad, I just wanna know where this came from! I don’t wanna ask everyone I’ve ever slept with to go get a test... should I just move on ? Let go? Maybe I don’t need to know who gave this to me? I’m just so frustrated... I look at  the pictures of me a month ago and I looked so happy and confident. Now every time I have an activity I dread it because I know I’ll be uncomfortable the whole time, no matter what I do my whole genital area is sensitive and itchy and just never feels right. 

Has anyone been through  not knowing who gave herpes to you? Does the frustration go away? 

 

 

[Lvsandy]

same here, the guy who I am pretty sure I got it from denied it. I tested. negative even after my first ob which was horrible. official diagnose 1/2017 and was fine until about a month ago. I met a guy and wanted to date. then sex came up. I said I can't (I was on my period) and he totally blew me off. I am still upset but the anger and random tears have stopped its been 3 weeks 

[beBravebeBOLD]

Hey Gina! I just want to chime in with some thoughts and maybe we can both explore how to let go of frustration from this situation. I’ll start by saying I know exactly who gave me H (the person I lost my virginity to!!) and even though I knew who gave it to me the feelings of frustration, sadness and hurt were still there. Knowing where it came from seems like it’d provided some sort of understanding or feeling of comfort but I think it’s really just a mind game to want to have some sort of control over the virus? Or maybe feel like you could put a face to the virus. but knowing my guy doesn’t make having it any better nor does it provide any answer to outbreaks or anything beneficial to me at this point. The deed is done and that can’t be changed so I just feel like knowing isn’t going to make it better

[KRS17]

@Gina99

  I have no idea who transmitted H to me.  As I'm sure you've read, people can be asymptomatic for years and have no idea they are carriers.  Furthermore, I'm sure you've read the stats on just how prevalent the virus is in the world.  

  That being said-  the first year is the hardest.  For the stigma, the outbreaks, the realigning to this new reality.  Your body is going through an amazing flux right now as it learns how to fight against the virus.  It gets better. Keep yourself as healthy as you can, let your body do what it does naturally, and I will always recommend looking into the vitamin L-lysine.  

 

  When I was diagnosed, I thought it had to be this one man.  The more I researched, I realized that may not be the case.  The way dormancy works with this virus it's difficult to be sure.  And then...one day....after a few weeks of crying and despair....I realized it does not matter.  Not one bit.  It doesn't change what we deal with now, it doesn't change the people we are at our core, and certainly blame does not help anyone in any situation.  

 

So, yes- for me it went away.  Holding on to any resentments, feelings of shame or guilt or remorse for whatever happened that led to this-  OH WELL.  

I know it's hard, but it WILL GET BETTER.  It matters more how one moves forward, than focusing on the what-ifs from the past.

If I can be of any help, please don't hesitate to reach out.

 

Cheers!

[Gina99]

@beBravebeBOLD @Lvsandy @KRS17

Thank you all for making me realize that getting stuck on the source of the problem doesn’t help me  move on from it. 

My life certainmy feels different but if all of you guys can do it and be so brave, than so can I! Thanks for being inspiring ❤️

[Gina99]

23 hours ago, beBravebeBOLD said:

Hey Gina! I just want to chime in with some thoughts and maybe we can both explore how to let go of frustration from this situation. I’ll start by saying I know exactly who gave me H (the person I lost my virginity to!!) and even though I knew who gave it to me the feelings of frustration, sadness and hurt were still there. Knowing where it came from seems like it’d provided some sort of understanding or feeling of comfort but I think it’s really just a mind game to want to have some sort of control over the virus? Or maybe feel like you could put a face to the virus. but knowing my guy doesn’t make having it any better nor does it provide any answer to outbreaks or anything beneficial to me at this point. The deed is done and that can’t be changed so I just feel like knowing isn’t going to make it better

Im so sorry it happened to you with the first person you slept with .. I can’t imagine! Keep being so strong 💪