What is the likelihood of transmission?? Telling someone

[lucydaisy]

I’m a girl and I have HSV1 genitally. When I tell future partners I want to be able to give them a rough percentage chance or something of transmission. What would be the likelihood (roughly) of transmission of HSV1 female to male using condoms and also on Valtrex??

From all my reading it seems pretty low. Disclosing is obviously really important but I haven’t told anyone before and I’m about to start seeing someone and I don’t know when’s the right time, I feel like by the third date or so I’d want to sleep with him but still wouldn’t feel comfortable disclosing. 

[KRS17]

@lucydaisy

 

Hey there.  You can find a ton of info on transmission rates, but you are looking at roughly 1-2% transmission rates to a male when antivirals and condoms are used.  That study followed discordant couples over the span of a year averaging I believe sex two times a week when no symptoms were present.  The risk is quite low.

 

  As for the timing, it is different for everyone depending on the nature of the relationship they are pursuing.  Disclosing is very important, but it's also very important for you to know all the facts regarding this skin condition. 

 

  And mostly, it is very important that you know how valuable you are-  your time, your attentions, your affections and your worthiness are of the utmost importance here.  The first disclosure can be tough,  and the only vital timing issue is that you do it prior to sexual contact.  

 

  If you're thinking that the third date(ish) is the time line that may prove to lead to that kind of intimacy, perhaps you could arrange it so that nearer to the end of the date(before the "sleepover" begins) you could find yourself in what you feel is a safe space for you to bring it up.  Perhaps it's a quiet corner of your favorite pub,  maybe you want to take a nice evening stroll before heading home,  or anywhere where you feel like the strong, confident and worthy woman you most certainly are.  I by all means recommend reading some of the successful disclosure posts on this site.

 

Good luck, and feel free to message me if I can be of any help!

 

Cheers!