Nervous but Relieved

[IASIHH]

I got results back this morning that I am positive for HSV 2. Part of me knew for a while, even though it was never traditional outbreaks. Mostly leg nerve pain that extended to my groin area.  I’m relieved to have confirmation because waiting and wondering is the worst part.

When I got my results this morning my whole body was shaking so hard. I’m not sure where to go from here. I just started seeing this guy I really really like, but I have a feeling when I tell him he won’t want to continue to see me.

I feel so alone. I know I’m not necessarily, but I don’t know anyone around me who has it. I haven’t always had the highest self confidence, and this just makes me feel even worse! 

Part of me is ok right now.. because at least I can figure out how to move forward. Part of me feels like I’m going to be alone forever. Right now it’s a balancing act between depression and acceptance. 

I’m going to have to have the talk with the guy I’m seeing today... because we are supposed to go on a weekend trip together, and I want him to be able to make the final decision. I know I should be in a better place with myself when I do tell him, but time is not on my side. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

 

[Stupida]

You are doing the right thing! Keep us posted. Good luck!

[seagle]

I also found out this week. Saw my OB on Monday and got my blood test results today. My outbreak is miserable. I'm negative for antibodies so I assume it got it from my bf, but we've been together for 2 years, so that raises some questions. It's a lot to process between "how did this happen?", "how do I manage the physical symptoms?", and "what do I do moving forward?!". Good luck with your talk. I suggest doing some research first because there is such a stigma with herpes and doing my own research has me to accept the Dx and realize that it's very common. Sharing those facts with your bf may help!

[mr_hopp]

Before you have the talk, read the quick e-book and handouts I created. They'll help you immensely. 
https://herpesopportunity.com/free-ebook-signup.html 

[jma031964]

Why rush into disclosing until the two of you get to know one another better? You can spend more time together, allow him to get know YOU, the person. 

If you aren’t putting him at risk, why rush into anything? 

[IASIHH]

I wanted to give and update on everything that happened since I originally posted. 

Full disclosure, the reason I felt like I needed to tell him right away was because we had already slept together before I found out I was positive. 

I ended up telling him the same day I found out, due to the fact that we were leaving in 2 days for a weekend trip together. I thought there was a real possibility that he would back out. And I also wanted to be honest with him. 

His inital reaction was, he didn’t know what to say, but he did say he still wanted to go on the trip with me. He decided to make a dr appointment for later the next week. We had another conversation later that night and he asked me what I would do if I was in his position. Luckily in the last I had thought about whether HSV would be a dealbreaker for me and I never thought it would be, so I told him my opinion. He said to me, he felt like if he thought I was someone he’d want to be in a long term relationship with m, he would be ok with it. He also told me a couple of stories of friends of his who had dealt with an HSV diagnosis before. 

Fast forward to a week after we get back from our trip. He had gone to the doctor, and had a conversation with her. They decided together he wasn’t going to get tested. She explained the stats to him, and other information about how common it is and how most people won’t even know they have it throughout their lifetime. At that point I asked him how he felt about staying with me and me being HSV positive. He looked at me for a moment and he said, “honestly, I don’t care. I don’t care at all”.

i think the hope in this whole situation is that someone who cares about you and sees the relationship going somewhere is not going to see you as your herpes. Instead they will see you as you. Anyone who is going to reject you because of it, doesn’t deserve you. 

[Next step]

Thank you @IASIHH for the update . You are very lucky to have found a doctor that can put this into perspective for your partner . I feel that is so much miscommunication in the medical field and overblown stigma that sometimes it dies more harm than good to talk to a doctor . Your story is inspiring . Please continue to update us . It helps. 

[BusyShotz]

Hi @IASIHH, I know how you feel. My situation right now is telling my boyfriend of 3 years that I'm hsv1 positive and that he may have contracted it. My first outbreak was 6 years ago. I  did the food grade hydrogen peroxide ✌remedy✌ and assumed it worked and that i was cured because I never got another outbreak, until now🤦‍♀️. I'm terrified about how hes going to react. I'm afraid he wont want to be with me anymore. What are we to do?