Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

in need of some advice

Recommended Posts

Hello there. After two terrifying weeks of suspicion, yesterday morning i was diagnosed with hsv-2 genital herpes. So far I've been taking it alright, I've been a little upset but overall i'm trying to maintain a positive mental state. I'm currently in a committed relationship, and upon learning of my condition my partner agreed to get tested as well. Though, because he is showing no symptoms whatsoever, my doctor is claiming there is no way of telling if he is carrying the virus and chose not to perform the test on him.. Is this right?? I was a little confused by this and would appreciate some explanation or feedback. Also, my partner and I have been having unprotected sex for the last 8 months. If it ends up he doesn't have herpes, if we choose to continue having unprotected sex (after my OB of course) is he more at risk because I am no longer an asymptomatic carrier? Is it absolutely guaranteed he will contract herpes from me?? I apologize if I sound incredibly uninformed, this is all very new to me and I would definitely appreciate any kind of advice or experience. Thank you!

Link to comment

Hi medewsick. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I was diagnosed in 1995. From what I understand about herpes, there are times when, even without an outbreak, the virus can be transmitted to your partner.


I can't believe your doctor wouldn't give him the test. Weird. It would be good to know. If he does have it, you wouldn't have to use protection. If he doesn't have it, you should use protection. I think the test only works after so many weeks.


I hope you have a nice weekend!

Link to comment

Your doctor said that? Is that your primary care doc or elsewhere? I would imagine that Planned Parenthood would give the test if he simply asked based on your situation. I would tell him to insist on getting tested. He has the right to know.


Also, you might want to start taking daily Valtrex suppression right away. Then if he finds out that he doesn't have H and you all choose to continue without condoms, the changes of transmission are a lot lower. If you take Valtrex daily and use condoms it's like a 1% chance of transmission. I don't think he's any more or less at risk just because you had an OB. Good luck! :)

Link to comment

Thank you Nigella and Greeneyes for your advice. I just moved to a new town so the doctor my boyfriend and I went to was kind of our only option at the time. I'll make sure we see another doctor and see if he can get tested there. I will definitely look into daily Valtrex suppression, it seems like a good idea for my situation. I was also wondering if anyone has any experience taking L-Lysine supplements to suppress outbreaks? I've heard some good things, but a lot of skepticism as well. Thanks again!

Link to comment

I take L-Lysine to shorten the length of mouth ulcers a.k.a canker sores(not related to HSV1). My boyfriend told me a nurse at PPH told him I could take it to also prevent or shorten the length of a HSV2 outbreak. I'm not sure though. What do you know about it?

Link to comment

Hi medewsic! Welcome. I was in a committed relationship for 3 years. She didn't have herpes and I did. We talked about how we wanted to keep her safe. As a couple, we decided for me to take daily suppressive therapy and unprotected sex. She never ended up getting herpes. Now this doesn't mean that your story will be exactly the same. There's always a chance. And your partner needs to know there is always a chance. If you stay aware of your herpes prodrome symptoms and avoid sex during outbreaks, the chances of passing herpes are actually quite small, especially to a man (less mucous membrane). And hey, absolute worst case scenario if he does end up getting it from being in an awesome relationship with you, you're worth risking a slightly annoying skin condition, aren't you? ;)


And wow, that doc is way off base on that. Your doc is forgetting there is such a thing as blood tests for herpes. Here's an article on that:



Here on some articles on how you can pass herpes:





Here's an article on herpes treatments:



Also, check out these handouts for more info:



Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...