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Just found out I have H and feeling extremely alone

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Over 1 week ago I got the official diagnosis for HSV2 after having my first outbreak. At first I just though it was a UTI and after examing myself I saw a lesion and thought maybe it was from the recent sex with a condom because it was super painful and dry. I have never felt so alone, sad, and disgusted with myself. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. All I can do is cry. The person I am seeing recently tested negative but now it’s killing me to wonder who I received it from. I don’t sleep around and my partners only even been who I’ve been in a long term relationship with. I truly did not want to tell anyone but I ended up telling someone I’ve been close to for many years. Well after telling her, she declined me to come to her baby shower because she could not take the chance since “she is pregnant and that’s highly contagious.” I never felt so down after my first rejection that wasn’t even a relationship and now I am hating myself more for confiding in someone that I thought would comfort me. She tried to tell me nothing is different and that she is there for me and always will be but yet basically she doesn’t want me around her until she has the baby. Now my next thought is she won’t even want that. I tried to explain its genital and we would not be doing anything for her to be exposed. While I do understand her wanting to protect herself and the baby , it still kills me to think that I’m this walking disease and will spread it to everyone by me just being around. Or maybe she thinks me being around in her house touching things and the toilet seat. I’m a very sensitive and honest person and felt I could go to her and now I feel like I’m suffering more dealing with Everything and hating myself for trying to open up to someone. Wishing I can find the positives in all this. I feel stupid for saying anything, do most people never saw a word to anyone? 

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It is normal to feel sad and alone and angry and what not. Just remember you are not a virus, and from now on is even more important that you shield yourself from other ppl's uniformed opinions. 

Evidently your friend is pretty ignorant and did not care to look up information before deciding to rescind your invite to the party. To tell you the truth, I don't really think she reacted as an actual friend would. There is absolutely no chance you are putting anybody at risk by attending such event. Actually this pregnant friend of yours is at more risk from getting H from an asymptomatic person who has it in their face and happens to kiss her, than from you. just as a reminder 80 to 90% of american adults have hsv 1 

Telling friends and family about the diagnosis might be a pretty useful thing when you get their support, but if you find reactions like the one this woman gave you it can be pretty detrimental for your self esteem.I don't want to say you should be careful who you confide in, it's more that you have to be prepare to get any kind of reactions and I can assure you there will be ppl who will be understanding, kind and supportive. So, don't take the bad reactions personal, because they say more about their holders than they say about you having H.

You could also search for H support groups in your area and you can always come to this forum! xx


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Thank you JulyP for your response I truly appreciate it. I find myself trying to read these posts to feel less alone. I know I have to just get through my stages of sadness and shame due to my type of personality. I don’t fully understand all my symptoms and what they mean if I’m actually having another outbreak from my first once since it’s all so new. The unknown is always the scariest for me. 

Thank you for the support!

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 I’m one month and symptoms started for me. Psychological impact of this condition is difficult to except especially at first. So far I let this condition impact friendships and even work.  I almost called out again from work.  Feel like a medical community in general does not understand the condition nor do they prepare patient for the impact it has on day-to-day life.. This forum has been a place for me to cope reach out for support. Try to have improved communication with your doctors, physical and psychological  aspects of this diagnosis.   I keep reading it gets better with time and I know that is very difficult there’s no quick fix.   I’m lucky to have a good therapist it’s close to me that you’ve been diagnosed with herpes 1979 and if it’s easier.  I lost a girlfriend already because of it and think that maybe for the best.   Allegedly this is very common virus.  You are not Virus you are a human being deserves to feel good and to be loved. Thoughts are with you

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Hi, I am new here and was recently diagnosed with HSV2. I understand exactly what you are feeling. The father of my child gave me HSV2.. he knew he had it and did not tell me. We broke up for about 10 months. In this time I did not see another person, but he did. We are back together now. He told me he was scared to tell me because he thought I would leave him. It should have been my choice to do so. Instead, he gave me an incurable virus. It's awful. I am here to talk to people like yourself who are seeking others who understand their situation. I just want you to know you are not alone. I really truly feel as though I am. The only people that know are my son's father (who was the giver), my OBGYN, and the doctors who do my ozone therapy.

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