Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Sex advice, any couples out there?


Recommended Posts

So my partner and I are in a monogamous relationship, he does not have HSV1 or HSV2 but I have genital herpes but I believe I don't have oral herpes only because I've had no OB or any herpes related symptoms in or around my mouth. We haven't had any sexual contact since I've disclosed to him. I'm not on any suppressants and choose not to be. He doesn't want catch it so I understand completely. I bought a sex toy he uses on me and we use condoms/dental dam when giving oral. I'm sexually frustrated and need some advice. Are there any success stories with couples that has a partner who dosent have herpes that still engages in sex without being on meds just condoms and how frequently do you have sex with your partner? Has it been successful sex life not transmitting the virus? Do you engage in oral sex without any protection although you have HSV2 and not HSV1? 

  • Like 1
Link to comment

Hi Brownly

I have GHSV but not sure if its 1 or 2, most lightly 2

I was with a partner for 6 years, she accepted me from the start & we had unprotected sex including oral for the whole relationship.
You see originally when I first read information 8 years ago I thought I could only pass it on when I had an OB,
so we never had sex when I did.
I have an OB about once a year & there never severe, so I don't know if that means my shredding is low.
She got tested yearly & never contracted it.

So yes it is possible to have a normal ex life but of course there are no guarantees.

Do you know for certain that he does not have HSV 1? because it is incredibly common as many people never have OB's

  • Like 3
Link to comment
5 hours ago, Amando said:

Hi Brownly

I have GHSV but not sure if its 1 or 2, most lightly 2

I was with a partner for 6 years, she accepted me from the start & we had unprotected sex including oral for the whole relationship.
You see originally when I first read information 8 years ago I thought I could only pass it on when I had an OB,
so we never had sex when I did.
I have an OB about once a year & there never severe, so I don't know if that means my shredding is low.
She got tested yearly & never contracted it.

So yes it is possible to have a normal ex life but of course there are no guarantees.

Do you know for certain that he does not have HSV 1? because it is incredibly common as many people never have OB's

I'm certain, hes a super health freak. We've been together on and off for 9 years and everytime we had sex it was always with a condom. He doesn't do oral on me. Made me use a condom during oral on him in the beginning of dating for a few months then I had to get him to trust me to not use one because I got tired of the latex taste and it took the enjoyment of fully satisfying him for me. Eventually he did months later allow me to. He only pecks when he kisses me mostly. He has never had any stds and I've told him I've had every std that has took medication to get rid of at this point. I realized a year ago after we broke up and I met someone else briefly afterwards that my luck ran out and now I have something I cant get rid of for life. I broke it off with that guy who gave me herpes and got back with my very health conscious ex bf who I disclosed to. He excepted it but he's even more cautious now which makes me feel even worse. I'm more than certain by how he acts lol he has no health issues. He's a complete health freak. So question, were you on any suppressives during those 6 years? I haven't had that many OB and they aren't severe enough that I would need to be on any. 

Link to comment
44 minutes ago, Amando said:

@Brownly I was not on suppressives at all.

sorry but don't want to put a dampener on things butI've got to say,
2 things stand out from what you said though,  he doesn't do oral on you & he only gives you pecks when he kisses mostly.
Does this guy love you?

 

 

 

I believe he does or at least I want to believe he does. Hes very different from other guys I've dated. Very! And honestly.. I don't know how I dealt with that type for so long. I love affection, kissing, spontaneous kind of guy and he is soo opposite from what I'm use to getting. The kissing and oral was very weird to me especially in the beginning,  he said I needed to get tested first which I procrastinated a lot, went years without getting tested and felt like he should of just trusted me anyway (silly I know). So I would even joke and call him weird or question his sexuality at times but he swears he so in love with me and wants to be with me forever.. idk. We was on and off and I was the one who broke it off everytime because I needed and yearned for more than what I was getting. We got back together after I contracted H from a co worker last year. I disclosed and he said he wasn't going to let this stop us from being together forever. It made me feel like he real does love me. 

Link to comment
20 minutes ago, Amando said:

I hope so!

I just think kissing someone you love is essential part of affection & no one on earth would stop me doing oral!

Lol its soo essential. That I agree with completely! I love when a guy expresses his love not just verbally (hes more verbal) but also by kissing and giving oral but I'm dealing with it the best I can because of who he is as a person. It's hard though. Very.

Link to comment
15 hours ago, Brownly said:

Lol its soo essential. That I agree with completely! I love when a guy expresses his love not just verbally (hes more verbal) but also by kissing and giving oral but I'm dealing with it the best I can because of who he is as a person. It's hard though. Very.

We all deal with things in different ways but if it was me,
I would talk to my partner as I could not feel loved, without affectionate kissing
& I have kissed girls I knew have had cold sores before when I was younger & H free.

You say its hard though, but it will get even harder, so you are better addressing it sooner than later

I really hope it works for you, I wouldn't wish the heartbreak I feel at moment on anyone
but of course there's so many of us on this site feeling it

Link to comment
On 9/10/2018 at 10:37 AM, Brownly said:

I'm certain, hes a super health freak. We've been together on and off for 9 years and everytime we had sex it was always with a condom. He doesn't do oral on me. Made me use a condom during oral on him in the beginning of dating for a few months then I had to get him to trust me to not use one because I got tired of the latex taste and it took the enjoyment of fully satisfying him for me. Eventually he did months later allow me to. He only pecks when he kisses me mostly. He has never had any stds and I've told him I've had every std that has took medication to get rid of at this point. I realized a year ago after we broke up and I met someone else briefly afterwards that my luck ran out and now I have something I cant get rid of for life. I broke it off with that guy who gave me herpes and got back with my very health conscious ex bf who I disclosed to. He excepted it but he's even more cautious now which makes me feel even worse. I'm more than certain by how he acts lol he has no health issues. He's a complete health freak. So question, were you on any suppressives during those 6 years? I haven't had that many OB and they aren't severe enough that I would need to be on any. 

This is what I'm worried about when I disclose.. I dont want to feel like I can't be touched but I also don't want to pass it. Ugh. It has me depressed. I know "it's just a skin condition" but no one ever wants to catch/pass on any kind of virus... I just feel like it's going to change my sex life so much 

  • Like 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...