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Emotional Recovery

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When and how does the emotional trama of being diagnosed with H ever go away? I'm a 30 year old, single, female who is likely* H 2 positive and the emotional rollercoaster of this diagnosis is so damn difficult. Last night I thought dressing up and going dancing with friends would help me but it actually triggered a new wave of grief for me. I realized that casual sex is gone for me, I don't get the option to take a stranger home after a fun night of dancing. I was hit on by an attractive guy and the flirty attention felt so nice but the reality sunk in that if this did lead anywhere I would have to tell him about H and hope he is able to see beyond it. I feel like I have worked so hard to build a nice life with a good career, recent purchase of a home and now it's going to be so hard to find someone to share that life with. 

I have a hard time believing that someone will accept me after I tell them I have H. No one wants this and it makes sense to protect yourself from it. I have had one rejection from a guy that I really liked and as much as my emotional side wants to villianize him for ending the relationship over it, my rational side says he made a responsible decision to protect himself from this unwanted, permanent, skin condition. 

I'm just at a low point, and could use some support. Writing my feelings down is helping, thank you for reading them and any support you can offer.




* No physical symptoms but two positive igg HSV 2 results. Trying to get the Western Blot test to be sure. 

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Hi Strength123

Everyone is different, so hard to put a time on it but one thing I can say, is that it WILL get better.
For me it didn't devastate me when I discovered I had this, I wasn't happy about it but didn't think it was that bigger deal.

The first women I dated, I told & she excepted it & spent 6 years with her.
I think that is key, finding someone that excepts you, even if its for a casual encounter because it tells you
that some people can & will except you.

Rejection is hard to deal with, as you already know & can bring you down but you have got to keep believing & trying.

My recent rejection has really hurt but there's no way I'm going to give up, I'm to damn stubborn 🙂

Be strong, believe, don't give up & you will find someone, it may take a little time, be patient but it will happen!

I wish you the best of luck, everyone deserves love & happiness

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Hey @Strength123

I was diagnosed about a month ago and if you read my first post from then...I’m at a very different place already. I mean, it comes in waves/rollercoasters of emotions and I have some times when I get down about it but then I always revert to the facts.

This is a lot more common than we think. Especially given the prevalence of casual sex these days, so many being unaware of having it, etc. I’d say the number are even greater than the stats published. We just have the burden of knowledge. And that’s the problem. Most people who have it don’t know they do and because of that, they don’t get to feel the way we do. But they’re still living their lives because they don’t know and it doesn’t change you! Just because you do know doesn’t change you. You’re still the same person with a good career and a warm home. It really is just an inconvenience - a skin inflamation which comes and goes every so often.

i haven’t had to disclose yet but from reading others’ stories on here, humanity is a lot more understanding than we think. At the end of the day, HSV1 and 2 affect BILLIONS of people around the world. We’re not the minority. People know that. You will find the right person with time! I know I plan on it.

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