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I’m seeing a new guy and I need to disclose. Advice needed.

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Hi everyone. 

I’m new to this forum! A little background about me: I contracted GHSV1 from my ex around 3 years ago. I’ve only ever had one OB and I’m not currently taking meds. 

Fast forward to 3 years later, my ex and I broke up around 3 months ago. I had never really given my herpes much thought, but now that I’m dating a new guy I know I need to disclose. 

I’m so nervous. Mostly because things have been going extremely well. I really don’t want to ruin things. I don’t know the best way to bring it up or how to explain that it’s not a huge risk? Any advice would be appreciated on how to word things and bring it up. Also maybe how to handle rejection. I really, really like this guy and he says he likes me a lot too. I would be really sad if things ended because of my ghsv1. 

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Hi Zeebee101

You are like me, I never gave H that much thought, the difference though is because the first person I disclosed to accepted it easily.

Being nervous is always going to be normal, even more if you really like the person.
I would suggest that when your sitting down privately together you start by saying
"because I really like you & believe its important to have trust in a relationship I need to tell you something."
Don't make it sound like its the end of the world.



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I’ve been giving this notion of disclosure a lot of thought since being diagnosed last week hsv1. It seems as though people who want to disclose to a brand new person are assuming that person is STD-free. Why assume that? Why not simply state: “I have concerns about STDs and would like to get tested together before intimacy.” Then, be quiet, see what he says. If, at that moment, he disclosed that he had HIV, how would you take that? Don’t you want to know his status on all STDs first? Many are asymptomatic or carriers, supposedly. All I’m saying is be careful telling something so personal when you don’t have that same info on them. Just my .02.

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Sorry I got cut off with first post & tried carrying on in a second but it says its hidden, so if this appears twice, that's why 🙂

At the top right of this website where it says free E-Book & Hand Outs now



download this as it includes a  disclosure book that is  very good.

As for handling rejection, I am going through that now, I'm finding it very hard as is my first rejection &
I thought she was the one. So I won't lie, it hurts a lot, I guess like anything, some people handle it better than others.
But I will not let it ruin me, I will not give up & I think that is the attitude you need to take.

I wish you the best of luck & really hope you have success with your disclosure!


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Hey @Dreamer07,

The links to download are automatically emailed out once signing up. I just sent you a PM.

Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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