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I had unprotected sex with someone who has HSV 2


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So here I am, with a question I didn’t think I’d be asking.. so let me start from the top  

On Sunday, I hooked with someone I’d been chatting up for a few weeks via Tinder. We really enjoyed each other’s company while we were hanging out and seem fairly comparable. During one of our conversations, had made me aware he had HSV2 when the discussion of sex was brought up. He has had HSV2 for almost 5 years, and has been on antivirals for the duration he has had it. He has not has not had any symptoms, or outbreaks in a little over a year. He nor I have any other STD/STIs. He also explained he dated someone for about 6 months, they had unprotected sex multiple times, and she did not contract HSV2 during their relationship, per blood testing. Initially, I didn’t feel comfortable with having sex at all in fear of getting HSV2. However, over time my and his attraction was obvious and after more discussion, our intention was to use condoms when we hooked up. However, after another date, a few glasses of wine and the heat or the moment.. our plan changed. We had unprotected sex. Not completely unprotected from pregnancy, as I am on birth control, but unprotected from STD/STIs and herpes.


It has been 3 days and I’m living in complete and utter freak out mode and nervousness about my irresponsible decision. I have spent hours googling and panicking at everything the results. I have come to determine there is no way I could NOT have contracted it. And I am so disappointed in my irresponsiblility. And I feel like even though I’m attempting to pay attention to my body and changes, I don’t necessarily have the best result due to I started my period the morning after. So I’m more sensitive than normal, and am having normal period symptoms.

But nevertheless, I feel like there’s no way I didn’t catch it.. so what I want to know now, is what to be looking for? Which symptoms come first? When, realistically, is the best time to get tested (from personal experience)? How do you mentally deal with knowing you have HSV2?


Hoping for some answers...

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@Nervous i understand your panic but let's think of a few things first .

1) have you been tested before? There is a high likelihood you could already have been exposed - it is very common especially in women 

2) it's not inevitable that he passed it you . If he's on medication the chance is low - somewhere around 5% per year not per encounter 

3) he was open enough to tell you and yes you should have used condoms but with him being on antivirals you've lowered the risk vs someone who doesn't know they have it or doesn't take any precaution 

4) he is clearly living a full life as are many with HSV2. You still found him intriguing attractive etc. Why would you think it would be different if the tables were turned ???

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Thank you for some of the stats. And yes, I actually just had a full panel including testing for HSV1 and HSV2 done about a month and half ago. Everything came back negative. 


And I suppose you are right about the tables being turned. 


Thank you for the encouragement. 

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Hi Nervous

Firstly nice to know there are people like yourself, that if they like someone enough are accepting of them having H

I think it is normal, to be nervous in your situation but the odds are stacked in your favour,
so you feeling like there's no way you didn't catch it, is in fact wrong & the odds are that its more likely
you didn't catch it.

Don't beat yourself up about being irresponsible,a lot of us have been there, it happens.
You learn & I bet next time when intoxicated, protection will be high on your list.

Try not to panic to much & hopefully you will be clear, wish you lots of luck 🙂


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Hello, I know how you feel and understand all of your worries 100%. The best thing I can tell you is that it is totally possible that he did not pass on the virus to you, than again it's possible that he did. 

The first step is to get tested for HSV1 and 2 as soon as possible. It's really easy to get fast discreet testing done most places these days. Everyone makes mistakes, it's not the end of the world even if it feels like it! 


Best of luck and don't google too much! Just get tested. 

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