Told my parents

[Jenn88]

I sat my parents down to tell them about my diagnosis my dad and sister are supportive. My mom of course made me feel like shit and said she is disgusted by me and asked when I’m going to get my life together..... if my own mother can make me feel like this doesn’t give me much hope for anyone else 

[Ricky Spanish]

I'm sorry that happened to you.

[sweetlove884]

Aww. I'm so sorry. Was it that you'd been sexually active or that you got herpes?  How old are you?  

[Jenn88]

I’m 36. I have been  staying wit them since my Divorce. I have never liked keeping secrets from my parents. My dad has always been supportive of everything and anything my whole life. My mother is a whole other story

[sweetlove884]

Oh, that really sucks. You're certainly old enough to choose to have sex. And this is life. These things happen. I hope you won't take her criticism to heart.  Hugs. Hope she comes around with some sympathy and caring soon. Has she never screwed up? 

[Jenn88]

Lol no of course not!! She is perfect.... she never has. But this is who she is. I’ve dealt with it my whole life. She has never really been mkntherlt so whatever. It hurts though bc it makes me feel like if this is how my mother treats me how will other people be?? 

[Amando]

Hi Jenn88

Really sorry your mom wasn't supportive of you, at least your dad & sister were.

Other people aren't your mom, so don't believe that they will not accept you!

Be strong & positive, big hugs!

[Jenn88]

I honestly wish I had never said anything bc now they are treating me different. They don’t want to share drinks with me /‘d they are telling me they all need to go get tested bc they feel I may have transmitted by sharing drinks. These are the stigmas I don’t wanna to deal

wirh. 

[mr_hopp]

9 hours ago, Jenn88 said:

It hurts though bc it makes me feel like if this is how my mother treats me how will other people be?? 

Oof, I'm so sorry that you have a mother who feels the way to help you learn your lesson is to treat you like shit! Sounds like she has her own healing to do around her sexuality. It sounds like she's passing her own shame and stigma onto you, and I'm sorry you are bearing the brunt of that. But know this: As an adult, you get to either believe her or not. You don't have to take what she's giving you. We all get to take what works for us about what our parents pass on to us and discard the rest. Parents aren't perfect. And sometimes, they can show us how we don't want to be and how we don't want to think. I know it can feel like because your own mother treated you like this that there is less of a chance of anyone accepting you with open arms, but it's just not the truth. Keep your head up and your hopes alive. You did a courageous thing disclosing. I congratulate you on that. 

[Jenn88]

8 minutes ago, mr_hopp said:

Oof, I'm so sorry that you have a mother who feels the way to help you learn your lesson is to treat you like shit! Sounds like she has her own healing to do around her sexuality. It sounds like she's passing her own shame and stigma onto you, and I'm sorry you are bearing the brunt of that. But know this: As an adult, you get to either believe her or not. You don't have to take what she's giving you. We all get to take what works for us about what our parents pass on to us and discard the rest. Parents aren't perfect. And sometimes, they can show us how we don't want to be and how we don't want to think. I know it can feel like because your own mother treated you like this that there is less of a chance of anyone accepting you with open arms, but it's just not the truth. Keep your head up and your hopes alive. You did a courageous thing disclosing. I congratulate you on that. 

Thanks! It just sucks bc now they feel they need to get tested. They don’t want me sharing drinks with them or my kids. It’s annoying howmignorant people can be. I won’t lie I probably would have done the same but having this disease and doing the research has really opened my eyes 

[mr_hopp]

Yes, so have compassion for their paranoia and ignorance. And do your best to not let it impact how you feel about yourself. Hold to your truth even in the midst of them throwing shade at you. I know it's hard since they're you're own parents, but strengthening this muscle inside yourself will do wonders for you as you move forward in this healing journey. Meeting ignorance with compassion, clarity and facts not only strengthens what you know to be true, but can have a side effect of dropping some much-needed knowledge on them. 😉 

Here's another video when I had to drop some knowledge on my best friend's husband after he made a rude herpes joke in front of me: 

 

[Jenn88]

Thank you! Your amazing you have no idea how much this site has helped me 

[sarahsfocus]

Adrial is a good guy.this site has helped me as well. I wish more people would watch his video's maybe people wouldn't be ignorant in there way of thinking. I'm sure this is a hard situation. they might come around as time goes by.