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Disgusted

I feel disgusting. Cheated on. Contracted herpes...

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Long story short. My long time boyfriend cheated on me and gave me herpes.  I am so angry right now. Because he stepped out I have to suffer the consequences. I have to suffer from this disgusting disease for the rest of my life. Herpes is not just a skin condition to me. Its nasty and painful. Breaking out in oozing sores that last for weeks is freaking nasty. Period. So I either have to look forward being on antivirals for the rest of my life or look forward to constant  outbreaks. F that noise. I'm not living my life like that. Did I mention that I also have a special needs son? No man  is going to want to date me with having herpes on top of that. He doesnt want me and he just made sure nobody else will, either. Don't try to convince me that's not what he did. The fact is most parents of special needs kids have a hard time dating. Go look at parent forums and you will see that most special needs moms end up alone. So I also have a life of solitude to look forward to.My life is hard  and lonely enough as it is. I'm not adding this to the mix. I refuse to live like this. 

 

 

I don't care how many people have cold sores. 

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Hey Disgusted

That is definitely a shitty situation to be in & my heart goes out to you.
I can totally understand that your angry & down at the moment, who wouldn't be!

I can assure you the OB's are normally worse at first & really are not that bad for most people &
in most cases they will become less frequent & not so bad.

I can't comment for other people but it wouldn't make a damn difference to me if a girl had a special needs child or not,
if I like her, I like her.

Don't give up, go through a grieving/anger period as your well entitled too, & then put yourself out there,
You WILL find love again

Hugs!

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Most people don't want to date someone with herpes. And I don't blame them in the slightest. Why should someone put themselves at risk when there are plenty of clean people out there? I personally would not date someone with herpes if I didn't have it. This doesn't make me or anyone else a bad person. Herpes is painful, can be debilitating and yes. gross. I don't see why anyone would put themselves at risk knowingly. And who wants to have to wear condoms in a long term relationship? 

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Hi dis,

First, I regretfully have to agree with everything your saying and feeling...it is pretty dam shitty...did he know he had it prior?? Is it possible he didn’t know? (Not giving him any benefit here)....are you sure he has it and not just you?? I know, tricky question BUT we can have H for centuries without knowing.  I am one of “those” that had an initial outbreak that was diagnosed incorrectly, I then went 20 plus years until a breakout that brought me to a doctor, cultured, diagnosed.  Do you know how many people I could of infected?  I’ve had many many partners (not proudly), and several marriages later (ugh)

kids? Special needs kids?  Well, I have one also, at times I want to hide never mind someone else new...I have 3 children total...and thru my years, I never once had a problem dating...even with my package.  I did not know of H then, but now...if you just wait until you’re closely bonded with someone before you disclose (prior to sex they advise).....I don’t see an issue...by then they are emotionally attached to you.

Good luck...focus on your child, love WILL find you ❤️

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@Disgusted I am wirh you. I too have a special needs child. I always wondered if it would be hard to meet soMeone and now this? Being a single mom of a special needs child has made me strong. I fight for him everyday now I’ll fight for both us. I refuse to let this bring me down. This site has helped me tremendously 

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I dont have a child but i can relate to you in how you feel. As it is I am sitting in my house feeling the same way 

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I get that its not great having H but its better than having a lot of worse virus's/deseases.
Over time things will get easier & there are also a lot of people that can see the person you are & not the virus you carry!
Its normal to feel down but you will get stronger as a person & life will get easier.

9 hours ago, Jenn88 said:

@Disgusted I am wirh you. I too have a special needs child. I always wondered if it would be hard to meet soMeone and now this? Being a single mom of a special needs child has made me strong. I fight for him everyday now I’ll fight for both us. I refuse to let this bring me down. This site has helped me tremendously 

@Jenn88 that statement shows me already how far you have come in such a short time, since your earlier posts
That is awesome, good for you,

@Disgusted there's some inspiration for you 🙂

 

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21 hours ago, Bambina3 said:

..if you just wait until you’re closely bonded with someone before you disclose (prior to sex they advise).....I don’t see an issue...by then they are emotionally attached to you.

@Bambina3 

My gf waited 6 months to tell me she had GHSV1 only because she got an OB. By that time i was deeply in love and it was a complete shock. I can't help but think she planned it that way and am still very resentful about it.

That may not be what you meant, but it struck a chord with me. Being on the other side of that secret after becoming emotionally attached feels like a betrayal. Just thought I'd share.

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It was him. I have been with him since I was 17 ( am 28 now ). I have very little sexual experience prior to him.

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The fact that I got this because someone I thought I was monogamous with decided to be a whore makes this 100x worse.

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On 10/12/2018 at 3:29 PM, Herpesdude said:

@Bambina3 

My gf waited 6 months to tell me she had GHSV1 only because she got an OB. By that time i was deeply in love and it was a complete shock. I can't help but think she planned it that way and am still very resentful about it.

That may not be what you meant, but it struck a chord with me. Being on the other side of that secret after becoming emotionally attached feels like a betrayal. Just thought I'd share.

Oh no I’m sorry, I meant prior to any sexual contact 

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I was given herpes by a careless guy and I do really feel for you.

I am raising a son alone (although not special needs) and dating was hard then let alone with this on top so I can totally relate.

I was rejected for disclosing that I am a carrier of herpes

I am now on lifetime meds to try reduce the outbreak. It has really worked but today I felt l I have a sore right next to my vagina but it is just sore only if I go to the toilet and start to wipe that area other than that I have not had any other symptoms other than this sore so I am not sure if it is a breakout but I haven't had sex so it definitely isn't that thats caused it.

I realised I could cry everyday about now having herpes but whatever I do its now with me for life and will not go away so I just have to deal with and unfortunetely for us all too. I am in the first year of having herpes.

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On 10/12/2018 at 8:29 PM, Herpesdude said:

@Bambina3 

My gf waited 6 months to tell me she had GHSV1 only because she got an OB. By that time i was deeply in love and it was a complete shock. I can't help but think she planned it that way and am still very resentful about it.

That may not be what you meant, but it struck a chord with me. Being on the other side of that secret after becoming emotionally attached feels like a betrayal. Just thought I'd share.

Do you have herpes?

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