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I was blindsided

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I have been celibate for 10 years (single for 9). I just recently started to date someone. We have gone out, but nothing more than kissed. However, things were heading in the right direction and, wanting to be safe, in discussion, I told him that I wanted both of us to be tested for STDs before we get intimate. I had been tested for STDs since leaving my ex, so I was 100% certain I would get my results and they would be negative.

Except the testing I had done 9 years ago did not include testing for HSV. And I got completely blindsided when my doctor's office called me and told me that I was negative for everything, except HSV2. The only person I had been with in the past almost 20 years was my ex-husband, so I'm certain that I got it from him. 

In hindsight, I have had OB during the past 10+ years, but never knew that's what they were. I always thought they were ingrown hairs caused by shaving, and I haven't had any OB that I can recall in at least 3 years, maybe more. 

Being an honest person, I told the new guy, and he reacted exactly as badly as I expected. Worse, even. He is now freaking out and convinced that he may have gotten it from kissing me, even though I have never had any OB on my face, ever, and is now saying that he's going to get tested and if he has it, then he will know that I gave it to him, even though I know it is impossible for me to have given him anything, and it would be too early to show up in any blood testing (sorry for that horrible run-on sentence).

 I've been alone and happy raising my son for the past 9 years. Guess it's time to get back to life before dating because I don't ever want to feel as horrible as this guy made me feel when I disclosed. It was bad enough being told that I was given a virus by someone I was supposed to trust, and I had NO say in the matter because he never told me. But, telling the new guy just made me feel so much worse...like a leper.

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Our stories are similar. I was celibate for almost 10 years, til last November. At the insistence of a potential partner, I got tested for everything, including HSV. I was blissfully ignorant, thinking that I was completely healthy. I was blindsided too when the call came Sept 20. Everything has changed. 

I have no idea who/where/when I got it. My iGG is above 3.

One of my partners has tested negative and is really nervous about the virus spreading. 

Another partner is getting his test on Oct 30. He's terrified of being positive. 

I cried for two weeks. Now I'm getting myself together and saying "what now?"

hang in there. We will get through this.

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My IgG was over 8. They didn’t give me an exact number, just that it was over 8. I have no idea what that means. 

I’m trying to take care of me right now, but I have zero appetite and am barely eating. I’m not sleeping well, and every time I wake up, it’s the first thing that hits me...“it wasn’t a dream”.

I know I’m okay, physically...I’ve obviously had this for over a decade and don’t know when the last time I had an outbreak (realizing now what the outbreaks were), but it has been years.

The hardest part for me is going to be trusting a man again. It took me 9 years to be ready to date, and now I feel like my ex has just set me back again, without even trying. Makes me really wonder if he didn’t fully know and not care what he gave me. Would make his comments about if I left, no man would ever want me, make a lot more sense.

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