Kinda accepting it but very confussed

[TequilaGirl]

Hi there, I'm still in the phase of accepting H. Long story short I contracted H from my first and only partner (my bf with who I've been in a 4.6 yrs monogamus relationship (hope so!)) so I know he gave it to me, right?  When I was diagnosed aprox 3 months ago the first thing that crossed my mind was that he cheated on me because we had an outbreak at the same time (his milder tho) I asked him and he said that he didn't cheated  and that he had never experienced something like this. So the only thing I can do its trust him, right? 🤔

Now I'm dealing with the psychological stress of having H and what bothers me it's that he doesn't care about it and that stress me more 😖  and he denies that he gave it to me but wtf in my case he's the only one I have ever been with...

 

So my question is how likely it is to contract H after like 3.5 years of having sex if no one cheated and he says that he had never had sores downthere? Does that mean that he probably cheated? Can someone be an asymptomatic carrier and never show symptoms until now (bc he have had partners in his past)? And how likely it is to have an OB at te same time? Which blood test do you recommend to kinda know how long have you have had the virus?

 

Idk, I can't get some peace of mind

[Ishmael]

He might have gotten it before your relationship and then you might have been together for 3.5 years before it passed to you or before he had an outbreak. That is possible, because people can go years before having an outbreak and couples can be together for years without passing it on. It's also possible that he passed it to you some time ago and you are having your first outbreak now. But it is also possible that he cheated on you. There is no test that can answer this for you I'm afraid. But ask yourself why you are suspicious. Has he given you reason to doubt him?

What is absolutely, 100% true is that if you haven't had sex with anyone else (including someone giving your oral sex) then you did get it from him and he needs to understand and acknowledge that. If he is denying that, than, to be frank, it seems like he has some trouble being honest, and maybe that's where your doubt is justifiably coming from. 

[PinkTiger]

People can carry H with no symptoms for years so he might not have cheated. He might have started shedding before his first outbreak, given it to you, and had his own first outbreak about the same time.

If you haven't slept with anyone else, not even oral sex, you definitely got it from him. I agree with Ishmael that his denial is not very open or honest. He might care though, and be too ashamed to deal with his feelings.

IDK about tests for timing. I thought that had to be done pretty soon, like within weeks.

[TequilaGirl]

@Ishmael   @PinkTiger  Thank you so much for you answers! It means a lot.

Honestly I have trouble trusting people when I can't totally know why/when/how happens something and when it comes to health issues I stress even more.

Yes, definitely he gave it to me. And I get kinda angry because he doesn't educate himself about H I'm the one who tell him facts and so. When I went to the gyn she told me that it wasn't a big deal and that maybe I have contracted it from somewhere else or maybe my bf gave it to me I mean she was really careless about it (now that I have done my research I know that I didn't catch it from somewhere else) and that's what I told him so maybe he stayed with that and didn't research anything else... on the other hand I'm thinking and reading about it every single day... and when I talk to him about it he always asks me what can he do to help me of make me feel better and bla bla bla which makes me feel good, that he cares and when I tell him to get tested he never says no.

I kinda doubt from him because we have had issues like a month and a half before we had the symptoms but deeply I kinda know that he wouldn't cheat but here affects my trusting people problems so it's like a neverending story... also he got std tests like 3 years ago and he came back all negative (obviously he didn't get tested for H so like you said, I can't totally know when he contracted it and that stress me so much!)

 

The only thing I know for fact it's that I will have to deal with H for the rest of my life... 😖😪