Struggling

[Newme]

Day 5 of knowing my HSV+ status and I'm struggling. Yesterday was a good day but today is killing me a d it's only 9am. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I feel empty. I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like my whole life is over. It truly feels like the end of the world. I considered killing myself this morning. I felt that worthless. The fear of rejection is literally debilitating. Who would want me and why would they? I don't even want me. I'm disgusting and worthless. I'm 30 y/o Black woman in Philly. Pickings are already slim add being a single mother to the list. I'm never gnna get married. I'm going to die alone. If I didn't know that my child would miss me and be looking for me I swear I would have ended it this morning. It's been just 5 days and the negative voices are already consuming me. Idk how I'm ever going to get through this. Anything I felt bad about myself about is magnified by 10 now. I can't see past this moment in time. I want to believe it will get better. I pray and try to focus on the good stuff but I'm tired. My heart is heavy, my soul feels empty. I can't shake this. 

[organicmama]

Hey, @Newme 

I am 31 years old and a single mother. My son's father knowingly gave me this virus. I am approaching 8 weeks of knowing now. It does get better. I am a type a, anxiety ridden, perfectionist. Needless to say this diagnosis crippled me to my soul. I spent $5,000 on ozone therapy, Ultra Violet Blood Radiation, and I take a massive amount of supplements every day. Not to mention, I use a freshly bleached towel every day to shower, I changed all of my shampoo, conditioner, and body wash to organic with tea tree oil/coconut water. My diet is also gluten free, all natural, high lysine content, and mostly organic. I will say this - my first symptom was mild. I have not had any symptoms since. I have seen multiple doctors and received their opinions on how this virus works. Take care of your body and mind. It will repay you. I know many people who had one OB and then never had another one. I can understand how you feel, trust me. I have been there and some days I am still there. At times I am still nervous to bathe my son. I wash all of our clothes separately now. However, the anxiety does decrease as times goes on. I am here for you and I am in the same boat.

[Concerned1977]

I'm also African-American and I'm newly diagnosed as well just take it day-by-day and things will get better focus on yourself and accepting the new you,  you don't want to stress yourself out because stress is a major trigger you are still beautiful inside and out. 

Just remember there are so many other important things outside of this minor setback keep healthy stay positive and things will work out for the best. 

I'm also going through the same thing and I'm here if you need to talk.