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How long can herpes remain dormant?


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Im new to this site and am looking for some help.... I’m 51 years old and just found out I have genital herpes. Needless to say, I am devastated.  I’m separated from my husband of 26 years for a few years and my divorce is close to being final.  I’ve been seeing a man for a little over a year. This is the only man I’ve been with since my husband.  He swore to me that he was clean and we’ve been having sex for a little over a year.  Three weeks ago I had an outbreak and found out I have herpes.  I’m assuming I got it from my boyfriend. But is it possible it’s been dormant all this time?  Or is it possible he is seeing someone else and got it and didn’t tell me?  My doctor said that because it was such a bad OB it seemed like it might have been a new exposure.  Thanks for listening. 

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1 minute ago, Marco619 said:

Im new to this site and am looking for some help.... I’m 51 years old and just found out I have genital herpes. Needless to say, I am devastated.  I’m separated from my husband of 26 years for a few years and my divorce is close to being final.  I’ve been seeing a man for a little over a year. This is the only man I’ve been with since my husband.  He swore to me that he was clean and we’ve been having sex for a little over a year.  Three weeks ago I had an outbreak and found out I have herpes.  I’m assuming I got it from my boyfriend. But is it possible it’s been dormant all this time?  Or is it possible he is seeing someone else and got it and didn’t tell me?  My doctor said that because it was such a bad OB it seemed like it might have been a new exposure.  Thanks for listening. 

Sounds like a new exposure. Which one do you have? Normally it’s come out within so many days after being exposed. 

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You can have a minor outbreak that you barely notice and then 30 years later have a large one; this often happens to people as they get older. Your partner could also have it for decades without knowing. In fact, most people that have herpes don't know they have it because they have no symptoms or their symptoms are so small  they don't notice them or just think it's like a rash or something. Whatever the case might be, it does not mean that your new partner cheated on you. He might have cheated, but your suddenly getting herpes outbreaks isn't proof of that. 

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Also, lots of people swear that they are "clean" because they go to the doctor and get a bunch of STI tests. The truth is, however, those tests don't check for HSV or HPV. When they are told that the tests came back negative, people think they don't have herpes, but they well might. 

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