Are you still with your giver?

[_a_rayofsunshine_]

11 hours ago, TequilaGirl said:

@_a_rayofsunshine_ oh and it was a surprise for you both or do you suspect that he knew and didn't disclose?

It was surprise to me. His response was “nooo it can’t be.” & that he was there to support me. Not many men will say that, so idk if that was his desperation for sex at the time (he’s 50, im 26) or his guilt. Before him, I hadn’t had sexual relations for 3 months. None of them prior said they had anything. The old man & i had unprotected sex and maybe 2-4 weeks after my Brazilian, i had my 1st outbreak. So, idk what to believe. My DR claim my results show I’ve had the virus for atleast a year, but based on research, I don’t believe that. Then the fact he kept his OB from me for 3 months, is suspicious to me. 

[lost&confused]

7 hours ago, _a_rayofsunshine_ said:

I would tell her, but that’s just me. 

I know but I don't want to expose myself in the process

[Kells]

Yes, were together 1yr in Aug when I got HSV 1. He didn't know and never had an outbreak. I am glad I have the closure of knowing who gave me this, he said he doesn't have that luxury (??). I feel initially we got a bit closer because we had to have tough talks, but now I feel we are becoming distant and I may be clinging because I don't think I will find anyone else :(.

[Uklad]

My giver left me for her ex that gave her it lol how ironic 

[TequilaGirl]

@_a_rayofsunshine_Did he tell you that he had an ob and didn't tell you? Wtf

[TequilaGirl]

2 hours ago, Kells said:

Yes, were together 1yr in Aug when I got HSV 1. He didn't know and never had an outbreak. I am glad I have the closure of knowing who gave me this, he said he doesn't have that luxury (??). I feel initially we got a bit closer because we had to have tough talks, but now I feel we are becoming distant and I may be clinging because I don't think I will find anyone else 

2 hours ago, Kells said:

Yes, were together 1yr in Aug when I got HSV 1. He didn't know and never had an outbreak. I am glad I have the closure of knowing who gave me this, he said he doesn't have that luxury (??). I feel initially we got a bit closer because we had to have tough talks, but now I feel we are becoming distant and I may be clinging because I don't think I will find anyone else :(.

 

I totally feel you. I'm kinda in the same boat. Did he reacted good or bad? 

[TequilaGirl]

1 hour ago, Uklad said:

My giver left me for her ex that gave her it lol how ironic 

Wtf 😐 i'm sure you are better without her. So, her loss... 😉

[Uklad]

Yes I am I see that now, I ain’t letting this stop my life however I will certainly make sure I disclose are raise awareness 

[Kells]

@TequilaGirl - he was in a bit of denial at first - trying to tell me it must be shave bumps- I know my body and went to Dr and they swabbed and confirmed. His Dr. didn't think he needed a test due to never having an OB, I pushed it, I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex not knowing who gave it to whom. His dr finally did a blood test after 3wks and it showed he has the antibodies, I had the blood test too and didn't have the antibodies yet. He felt like total crap after and kept saying we are in this together. It took me awhile (5wks...or still lol) to accept I got  this - I was mortified and kept talking about it, crying about it, pissed at him, (he didn't know) pissed at myself, pissed at the health care industry for letting us all think we are tested for "everything", but we are NOT tested routinely for herpes- who knew??? My therapist tries to tell me basically everyone has it (1 in 6 people). I am slowly dealing better, but when him and I end things one day, I will have to think about all this again with a new partner ugh.

[TequilaGirl]

@Kells omggg! Reading you was like hearing myself! Trust me I understand you. I had my first ob 4 months ago but in my case I was visually diagnosed 😐 i haven't had any blood or culture tests so idk which strain I have or if it is a new infection (despite I had flu like symptoms so I think it was) and Idk if I make some blood tests 6 months after that I will be able to know if it's a recent infection or not (don't think so btw 😭) ... so the only thing I knew was that my bf gave it to me (bc he's the only one i have been with) so I felt the same way... angry at him, at me, at the dr, at the fucking stigma, at thinking that if I end the relationship with him I have to disclose and maybe rejection, thinking about if someone knows it will tell everybody and so... fucking sucks 😪 

 

And I can't understand why one of the most stigmatized "STD's" isn't included in the routine tests (I know it is bc it isn't life threatening, but the stigma...)I mean there's something wrong...

 

I wanna cry rn 😭😭😭

[Kells]

@TequilaGirl- it's good to know we aren't alone . It even took me awhile to come here. Hugs

[lifeisarollercoaster]

I literally feel in a similar position to some of you girls.. i was diagnosed with HSV2 in Feb.. i’ve been with my partner 4years and this was a first outbreak. As far as I am aware he has never had any outbreaks. He was actually quite calm when i told him about the diagnosis and never really wants to speak to me about it. He was fuming when I confided in a friend about the diagnosis. To top it off, I don’t even know if I love him anymore and I think i am just staying in this relationship as i am scared I won’t ever meet anyone else. 

[TequilaGirl]

@lifeisarollercoaster omg i'm in a 4 years relationship too and discovering this after all this years it's kinda hard because (in my experience) I'm full of doubts about everything... only my bf and my mom know about it and with my mom i don't talk about it because I don't want to worry her or make her think bad about me (wich I know she don't), and when I talk to my bf he doesn't say anything than "what can I do?, I didn't know", bla bla... Sometimes I feel soooo alone 😪

 

If ANYONE wanna talk about anything i'm here for you.

[TequilaGirl]

53 minutes ago, Kells said:

@TequilaGirl- it's good to know we aren't alone . It even took me awhile to come here. Hugs

Hugs to you too! If any time you wanna talk i'm here for you 😊

[_a_rayofsunshine_]

9 hours ago, TequilaGirl said:

@_a_rayofsunshine_Did he tell you that he had an ob and didn't tell you? Wtf

Yes. He told me 3 mos later aftee i told him another guy claimed he had gotten a cold sore from kissing me. Then he decided to confess he had an OB a long time ago. I felt betrayed lol idk why. I just feel like we both know our situation so why not share what you’re going through?!

[lifeisarollercoaster]

@TequilaGirl well, i only just told my mum last week but I also recently confided in two friends that I really trust. They were so good about it and didn’t make a big deal. They were also grateful to hear my advice to help them prevent getting an STD. The hardest part is dealing with my relationship, I honestly don’t even think I am in love anymore and I’m only 27. I’m trying to tell myself it is possible to meet someone else in the future (not in any rush) but I don’t feel brave enough to end this relationship. I think I will be happier single than in this shit relationship but it’s just fear holding me back. 

[TequilaGirl]

3 hours ago, _a_rayofsunshine_ said:

Yes. He told me 3 mos later aftee i told him another guy claimed he had gotten a cold sore from kissing me. Then he decided to confess he had an OB a long time ago. I felt betrayed lol idk why. I just feel like we both know our situation so why not share what you’re going through?!

Don't worry I would feel betrayed too, because we are adults now and have to be responsible and care about our partners and expecting the same way back... so yes, It would be great if our partners were honest and open about this because at the end of the day there should be trust and hidding stuff like this shows the opposite...

[TequilaGirl]

2 hours ago, lifeisarollercoaster said:

@TequilaGirl well, i only just told my mum last week but I also recently confided in two friends that I really trust. They were so good about it and didn’t make a big deal. They were also grateful to hear my advice to help them prevent getting an STD. The hardest part is dealing with my relationship, I honestly don’t even think I am in love anymore and I’m only 27. I’m trying to tell myself it is possible to meet someone else in the future (not in any rush) but I don’t feel brave enough to end this relationship. I think I will be happier single than in this shit relationship but it’s just fear holding me back. 

Totally understand you. I'm 25 and I feel the same way 😪 I would tell you that you shouldn't feel that way and that if you end the relationship you will find someone who fullfill you and so... and that's true! It's easier to say it than feel/do it. 

[lifeisarollercoaster]

@TequilaGirl sorry to hear you’re in the same position as me but selfishly i’m glad i’m not on my own and someone understands. I have faith we will both find happiness eventually, just has to be done when you are truly ready. It’s a big step!! message me anytime if you need to chat 🙂

[TequilaGirl]

@lifeisarollercoaster thank you so much! 😊

[Ms. Congeniality]

I was with my then-bf, he was fooling around with other females. I started having weird symptoms and my dr said it was most likely a yeast infection. I got them chronically after my period each month. He kept fooling around with others so I broke up with him. I had my first “official” OB with the symptoms I had before but with sores. That’s when I went to my dr and she said that’s probably what I had all along. By this point I had already moved on and was with my now-bf. he’s been absolutely amazing and supportive. From words of encouragement to leg massages from the nerve pain. He ended up contracting it from me a couple months after I was diagnosed. I felt like the biggest scum bag. But he assured me that he knew the risks and he wanted to be with me and loved me the same. Here we are a year and a half later, stronger than ever.