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Relationship advice ghsv1

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I’m 22 years old and I was just diagnosed with Genital HSV 1. At first I felt like my life was over, I was in a 6 month relationship with my gifter. I’m so upset with myself because I should’ve known he was no good for me and there was so many red flags. This has been so hard for me because I want to be in a happy loving relationship with my ex prior to him that I was in a relationship with for 2 years. I disclosed to him about my diagnosis and he’s been supportive of me and says he still loves me and sees a future with me. But I’m afraid since we’re so young he’s gonna just leave me one day and find a girl who doesn’t have this. We haven’t had sex since before my diagnosis. I’m honestly scared because I love him so much and I don’t want to transmit it to him I would be so hurt. What advice do you guys have for ghsv1 positives like myself? is anyone here in a long term relationship with someone that doesn’t have ghsv1 as well? Are there any women out there with ghsv1 that transmitted it to there partners or haven’t? I want to hear other people stories. And I need some guidance please. Thank you.

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Hi 22younggirl

Firstly sorry you have contracted HSV 1.

Don't be upset with yourself, things like this happen in life, red flags or not , its not your fault!

I am male but have been in a long relationship with my girlfriend without passing it to her.
You have disclosed to your guy, he has accepted it & although I totally get that you do not want to pass it to him,
he has made his choice to be with you, so cherish that as he truly cares for you.

Before you had HSV, did you used to think of all the ways your partner could leave you in the future?
I would guess no, so don't let that change, enjoy your life!

Good luck & big hugs


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Well, first things first you can’t assume he doesn’t already have HSV1. Ask him to get tested. There’s a chance he already gets cold sores and therefore the risk to transmitting it genitally is greatly reduced. 

Try taking antiviral to help reduce risk of transmission, use condoms, and be vigilant of potential outbreaks.

i also recommend trying to eat as healthy as possible and try to increase lysine in your diet. Think about potentially taking supplements. Though these aren’t factors that 100% are proven to reduce transmission, they reduce peoples break outs which likely also reduces shedding.

all of these combined can greatly reduce transmission, and with ghsv1 it’s likely that you will shed minimally anyhow. If he accepts you, he accepts the risk. You can take the steps above to prevent transmission but he is accepting the risk if he is staying with you which is a good thing! 

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 

I was just a few months into a new relationship with the greatest guy when I found out, he was negative and I informed my ex of 3 years to find out he was positive. 

My new guy took it really well, most of his concern was for me which was very helpful. We were super careful to being with but we’ve been together for over a year and a half now and have been much less diligent. 

I took Valtrex during the primary ob and as supressive therapy for about 4 months and after no sign of any recurring ob’s I discontinued that.

We never used condoms in the beginning while I was on the supressive therapy and after too. Just here and there if I was worried about a potential ob.

I would recommend taking an antiviral, this will significantly decrease your chances of transmission as well as recurrences. For me this is super important to my peace of mind In a relationship where my partner is negative. Until you both feel comfortable condoms and supressive therapy is the safest route. 

Things get easier especially when you communicate openly about it. Before we were intimate again after I was diagnosed I spent a lot of time just sharing with him how I felt about myself. I finally was able to take all of the weight off my own shoulders and now we treat it more like it’s a ‘we’ thing.

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