Looking for Insight

[Soawful]

Hello all. Im

confused and scared. I contracted genital hsv1 a few months ago. Valtrex cleated it up.  Once I was finally beginning to get past the horror of having this awful condition which makes me feel like a leper, i met someone who immediately told me he has HSV2.  He’s had it for thirty years, so he’s so confident he won’t pas it to me, but I know there are no guarantees what with viral shedding. We have had sex using condoms a few times. He does not so suppressive therapy. I do NOT want to contract HSV2. The guy is being really douche about the whole thing. He does not want to use condoms and everyone I tell him I am scared of getting hsv2, he freaks out. You’d think his lack of respect for my concerns would be a deal breaker, but for some reason Im still messing with him. I will not sleep with him without conforms, that’s for sure. He would never be intimate when he’ has a breakout; who would? That would be so painful. I’m just wondering if anyone here is hsv2 positive or has a partner who is. Have you or your partner contracted it with condom use? I have read varying statistics on the percentage rate of contraction when using rubbers but I’m not clear. I know there’s no surefire way to prevent the spread. H really sucks. If there weren’t such a stigma, it would just be an annoying condition. I fear that if I catch hsv2, potential partners will reject me. HSV1 down below is bad enough, but considering so many people are carriers if they, perhaps people will be more understanding. My doc recommends I use suppressive valtrex therapy for my hsv1 because it’s new to mthe body abs sometimes I freak out that ok about yo have an outbreak but I’m not sure. What are your thoughts on this? Doctor said getting steady doses of antivirals in my system may help load me up and keep it st bay. Haven’t had another outbreak ever I know of, but anytime I feel an itch or a burn, I freak out. No sores present they o can see.  Also, do you suggest I get blood test for hsv2? Doctor said to wait two months so that the test results are accurate. If I don’t get the test, do you think the right thing to do is tell future partners that I was exposed to it? I’m freaking abs feel like No man will want me. Any stories of how partners reacted to your disclosure are greatly appreciated. Sorry to ramble. Look forward to hearing your insights. 

[100918]

Well, the guy sounds like a douche, so I would dump him anyway.

I was just diagnosed almost a month ago with GHSV2, and I disclosed right away to the guy I had just started seeing. He initially freaked out, said he wanted to be just friends.

But, now here we are, over 4 weeks later, and we're still talking. 

I don't have other experience with disclosing, and I don't know where this will go, but honestly, HSV2 isn't a big deal to me anymore. I've had it for at least 10 years, but only just now diagnosed. I had no idea I had it because I am asymptomatic.

Thinking back, I think the reason the guy I was seeing freaked out is because *I* freaked out. I hadn't known but for 15 minutes when I disclosed to him, and I was DEVASTATED when I did...so of course, he would freak. That's kind of the example I set. But now, I'm like, "Meh, it is what it is. Take it or don't".

But seriously, that guy sounds like a douche. Dump him. You deserve better. Period.

[Simplethingsinlife]

5 hours ago, 100918 said:

Well, the guy sounds like a douche, so I would dump him anyway.

I was just diagnosed almost a month ago with GHSV2, and I disclosed right away to the guy I had just started seeing. He initially freaked out, said he wanted to be just friends.

But, now here we are, over 4 weeks later, and we're still talking. 

I don't have other experience with disclosing, and I don't know where this will go, but honestly, HSV2 isn't a big deal to me anymore. I've had it for at least 10 years, but only just now diagnosed. I had no idea I had it because I am asymptomatic.

Thinking back, I think the reason the guy I was seeing freaked out is because *I* freaked out. I hadn't known but for 15 minutes when I disclosed to him, and I was DEVASTATED when I did...so of course, he would freak. That's kind of the example I set. But now, I'm like, "Meh, it is what it is. Take it or don't".

But seriously, that guy sounds like a douche. Dump him. You deserve better. Period.

Hey how do you know you had it for 10 years ? if it was asymptomatic ?

[Soawful]

Thank you for replying. Yes how do you know you have had it for ten years?  You’ve never had an outbreak ?

 

[100918]

1 hour ago, Soawful said:

Thank you for replying. Yes how do you know you have had it for ten years?  You’ve never had an outbreak ?

 

I know I've had it for at least 10 years because I haven't had sex in the past 10 years, so I had to have gotten it before I stopped having sex. And I was with the same person (married) for 9 years before that. I later learned that he forgot to stop screwing other women, so it stands to reason I got it from him.

And I've never had an outbreak that I know of. So I'm either completely asymptomatic, or I did have outbreaks but they were so mild that I didn't know what they were (possible).

[Soawful]

Thanks for your reply. Just curious...what made you decide to get tested if you had no symptoms?

[100918]

4 hours ago, Soawful said:

Thanks for your reply. Just curious...what made you decide to get tested if you had no symptoms?

I finally started dating a really good guy and I insisted that we both get tested before getting intimate. I had been tested 5 times in the past 10 years (for other reasons unrelated to sex or sexual health), and was convinced that I was good to go but went and got myself tested again since I was making him go get tested...but apparently, they never tested for HSV any of those times, so I was beyond shocked when they told me that I was positive for HSV2.

 

I'm still surprised that my doctor chose to test for it since I had no symptoms and no sexual history that would indicate a higher risk (only 4 partners in my life, and I'm 40). The CDC doesn't recommend testing for someone with my history, so it was really a fluke that my doctor tested for it.