What is the key to moving on

[lost&confused]

I just want to know how do you move on from this? Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if me and my "giver" found out together unexpectedly I could deal with it better, but to know each other for years prior to being in a relationship for over a year bothers me. It also bothers me to know that he knew he had it, he cheated, and moved on as if he's done nothing wrong. For the last year I've been going thru the motions some days I can accept my situation other days I cant so Im depressed & crying I've tried going to a therapist and talking to my friends but they cant relate to my situation the question remains in my mind who would want to put themselves in harm's way to be with me. So I ask how do you move on from this?

[Michgirl73]

I feel the same way. My giver begged for me back because we had broken up and wasn’t together for over a year and came back pleading his love for me and told me he could never let me go.. he knew he had it and we had sex he said nothing to me.. I became infected he said he was sorry and that we would work through it together.. then he drops me 3 weeks later and went back to his ex’s girlfriend I was left  trying to pick myself back up and now I got this crap. Dating before was extremely hard and now I can imagine.. I guess only gods will allow me to meet someone to accept me with this crap. I’m trying ways to heal myself.. I go to therapy and I’m depressed but I’m trying like hell to pull myself up and hope there is a good man out there that will love me no matter what. I’m just trying to stay healthy and beat this virus.

[lost&confused]

I feel the exact same way the first few couple of months the doctors wanted to put me on suicide watch because the depression got so bad. I hate with a passion that we even have to deal with this and the facts of having to tell someone devastates me to the core. I couldn't believe I actually tried to stay with him all because I was scared being alone.

[Michgirl73]

Well there are many of us going through the same thing unfortunately we got see what the devil really looks like. Try to stay positive and pray and keep yourself healthy and hopefully it will get better. All we can hope for is that it will get better!

[lost&confused]

Thank you for the words I really appreciate it

[Michgirl73]

3 hours ago, lost&confused said:

Thank you for the words I really appreciate it

You welcome.. this is the toughest road I have ever had to walk and mostly alone. I have only told a few closest ppl of this because of the shame around it. Try to do your normal day to day stuff before this happened. I know it’s hard but sometimes it makes u forget just for a bit and gives you heart and head a break from thinking so much about this. And please stay strong you are more then this virus.

[Vibes90]

Easy to say hard to do. Especially that you have to deal with health problems caused by this virus. 

[lost&confused]

@Michgirl73 I've only told my closest friends also and they haven't judged me or treated me different like I thought they would. It seems like when I'm home alone is where it hits me the most or when I really wanna talk to somebody I like but I refrain from doing it.

[lost&confused]

@Vibes90 yes it is easier said than done since I've had the virus my migraines are more frequent and they seem to last long that's been my only issue

[Michgirl73]

I agree it’s easy to say hard to do @Vibes90 but we have to try to focus more on moving forward and feeling better about this. You don’t know how many times I thought I’m better off dead because of this virus and what my ex has put me through. I can’t cope somedays. I have family and friends that know but they think this virus is nothing that it’s no big deal. So in the end I’m alone trying to move forward and try to research on getting better on trying to beat this thing. I would never in my life wish this virus on my worse enemy. Most of us that got this virus was from someone that was to scared to speak up and acknowledge they have this stuff to save us from this horrible virus. 

[Jemjem]

I can’t say I’m the best to give advice as at the moment I am struggling however in the past things that have helped me are remembering the facts. When I went to hospital for an outbreak recently the doctor said to me 95% of people in the world have hsv and that I need to stop letting the virus control me and I need to control it. I know the more I stress about it the more outbreaks I get so I try to remind myself that its happened now and there is nothing I can do about it but move on and one day I will look back on this time when I have a family and husband and think how silly I was being. Look at the positives I know it seems like there are none but I think this virus basically forces you to really look after yourself which can prevent further diseases down the line. Also who knows the love of your life might also have hsv and you might have missed out on meeting them or turned them down if you didn’t have it. The universe works in mysterious ways. I know you say you wouldn’t want to risk anyone get it but through suppressive therapy and condoms risks of transmission are reduced to something like 5%, I hear about couples who have been together for years and never transmitted and I also hear about men who have gotten it from their partner but not cared since they knew it was the person they wanted to marry anyway. Also at the end of the day I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t love me flaws and all! It really helps knock out all the people who’s intentions are only to use or manipulate you and shows the real genuine ones because for me personally if I met someone I really really liked there is no chance I would care if they got cold sores so why is it different for genital? It’s not and the ones who are worth it will think the same. Life deals everyone different cards and this is just the one we got.