H for happy

[Angel]

It's been about 3 months since I started dating an amazing man (see my last post from May), and as of last weekend we call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, woohoo, yup, I'm in a relationship again :) :)

I got infected with HSV2 a little bit more than a year ago, I found out ~8 months ago, and I was so completely down on myself in the beginning. At the time of my diagnosis, I got dumped by a guy that I was really into, and it broke my heart. But herpes or not, due to other circumstances it may not have lasted anyway. Luckily, I found the strength to continue looking for a partner, first mostly on positive dating sites, then also on "regular" sites, and sure enough, that's where I found my man. The last 3 months were absolutely amazing, we share all kinds of awesome hobbies and interests, and have great sex. I have fallen in love with him, and I am so happy.

 

I am a very self-critical person, and the herpes has been a complete bummer for me. There are still days on which this infection is occupying my thoughts and dragging me down. But I also daily remind myself that

-I have a virus that is very common and affecting the majority of the adult population in one form or another (more people are infected with HSV1 or HSV2 than having no herpes)

-It's not threatening my health, and at this point it in fact isn't doing anything at all (no outbreaks)

-I am dating an amazing person who in many ways is better for me than the guy who dumped me

-I am on suppressive therapy and use condoms with my partner, which reduces the chances of transmission to ~1% PER YEAR (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14702423, comparing this number against prevalence of HSV2 in society it appears that my partner is about as likely (or possibly less likely) to get infected by me as he would be if he was sleeping around, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemiology_of_herpes_simplex#United_States).

-I am still the same amazing person, and I have no reason to feel bad about myself, the only person who should feel bad is the assh** who infected me and lied about it

-I might even be a better person now, less arrogant, and more appreciative of the good things in my life.

 

I really hope I can encourage folks here to not let the H rule your life, or ruin your day, to instead move on from this negative experience, to put the infection into the right perspective and to focus on the opportunities ahead of you. Half a year ago, I thought my life was over, and now I am supper happy! Have a great day!!!

[Judith]

Hi Angel ,

you sound really happy ,thanks so much for your post. Your post is really positiv and i am sure it will make the day for some of us herpes fellows.I hope it will work out with your amazing man, i wish you both the best....and yes the transmission rate is much lower as when he would sleep around :) yes herpes change us all , first in a bad way but after a while it make us better and stronger person.....herpes teach us ;)

big hug

Judith

 

[HereComesTheSun]

Thanks for sharing your story, Angel. I am glad to hear that things are going well for you. Reading things like this always makes my heart happy and fills me with hope, even if just for a moment.

 

Take care. xo

[lelani]

Awesome!! So happy to read you are happy :-) I am the same...met a gorgeous man on a regular dating site and have moved in with him and we are totally happy together.

 

Almost two years ago I felt like I would be alone forever and was sad and lonely with this virus...I decided to get on with life and be bigger than H...and then decided I wanted to meet someone (like REALLY decided rather that hoping) and voila three months later I met him...I am happy and thankful and when I cry occasionally because I miss my carefree sex days without condoms my man tells me he loves me and it doesn't matter to him, he's just happy he found me and that minor hassle is worth it.

 

So everyone...believe that you are bigger than this virus and that you deserve all good and abundance in the universe (that has been my mantra!). Thanks for the lovely post Angel... xx

[GreenEyes727]

Love these kinds of stories! Congrats Angel and Lelani!

[Atlantic]

Awesome news!

 

I really disagree with quarantining ourselves to H dating sites. I have tried them, and the men I have met seemed kind of bitter and negative. One guy even put on his profile something to the effect of "well, met a girl, she ditched me because of this... so I guess I'm stuck here" No, I don't want to feel like someone's backup. Plus, I am sure there are some good people on H sites, but do you really want to restrict yourself to such a small portion of the dating pool?

 

I am taking a hiatus from actively looking for a relationship (I am on Eharmony and it's been pretty fruitless as of late. Once I notified them I was cancelling my subscription they started bombarding me with shrubby guys. But I digress). lol

 

This thread is a reminder of the possibilities out there, and helps me remember to be patient and trust the universe. You guys are inspirational - as always !

 

[Saliha]

You guys are all awesome! I loved your positive perspective Angel! I needed that reminder. It is hard enough to date and leave things up to the universe but you put it into terms that can make your disclosure sound even better and more positive. thanks!