Do you tell or just ghost?

[Kells]

I am single dating and hooking up with a couple different people over the last 2 yrs. One of these people has been over 2yrs (strictly hookups), the other more serious (dates, sleepovers). I only see the hookup person randomly, no time invested. The other one, we make plans and go out, but he is the one who gave me herpes (he didn't know he had it and never had an outbreak). It has been a couple months now that I have had it. I haven't heard from hookup person til this weekend and I pushed him off, said I was busy.

Here is my dilemma- I really want to see him, but I just can't bring myself to tell him about the big H at this time - or ever. I could still see him but limit by activities (I have genital HSV1), I could just ignore him/ghost him til he stops reaching out (but I have no will power), I could make up a story as to why I can't see him/ have limited interaction, or I could tell him about big H.  I haven't told anyone yet and I am scared sh*t of rejection from him. Since we don't have any conversations, there really isn't a way to sit down and discuss.

Do I even owe him an explanation if I just disappear after over 2yrs of hooking up??? If so, how do I tell him I have gotten this now??? 

I appreciate some feedback and advice :).

[Michgirl73]

I understand your scared, I think most of us are scared. But u gotta remember that 2 out 3 ppl have hsv1 which is the same virus orally or gentially so it’s very common. What’s not common is ppl don’t talk about it so that’s what this crap still keeps getting passed around. To many ppl are scared to talk about it.. so what u need to know is the facts about it and then explain it from there. Going in knowing what this virus is and explaining it to someone is important so doing your research will help u better equipped to discuss this as I heard most ppl have questions so u needs to be able help them understand which helps get rid of stigma. Also explain what u are u doing personally to take care of yourself.. it your on antivirals, supplements are u getting special treatments.. ppl are just scared because they aren’t informed about this horrible virus.. just be the voice u wanted someone to be for you when u weren’t given the option or knowledge is all. Good luck!! Wish the best. 

[Kells]

Thanks - If I decide to meetup with him again I will have to tell him - but if I just disappear obviously I won't have to have that conversation. I just don't know if he even deserves to know, I may just ignore and disappear. Would rather he wonder what happened to me then judge me. I know it sux that there is such a stigma associated with this. I wish I was at a place to go be a voice for us, but all I keep thinking is people will think I am a nasty, dirty slut, even though the person who gave me this I have been seeing for over a year. Ugh , this takes SO MUCH STRENGTH. 

[Michgirl73]

7 hours ago, Kells said:

Thanks - If I decide to meetup with him again I will have to tell him - but if I just disappear obviously I won't have to have that conversation. I just don't know if he even deserves to know, I may just ignore and disappear. Would rather he wonder what happened to me then judge me. I know it sux that there is such a stigma associated with this. I wish I was at a place to go be a voice for us, but all I keep thinking is people will think I am a nasty, dirty slut, even though the person who gave me this I have been seeing for over a year. Ugh , this takes SO MUCH STRENGTH. 

I understand you gotta do what works for you. Just give yourself and that person the respect is all if u decided to be intimate with them. I hate the fact that I was given a choice my ex gave it to me knowing that he had an then when I found out he didn’t act surprised as I was crying my eyes out to him.. I thought I was going to have someone there to help me through this but then dumps me 3 weeks later .. he wouldn’t go get tested and just said he wa sorry. Good luck to you! I understand being scared I haven’t had to tell potential partner yet.