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3rd Date She Told Me She has Herpes


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28 minutes ago, sarahsfocus said:

I'm speaking from experience here forget that she has hsv2 for a minute but I think getting with someone that has children would be such a strain on your relationship(my stepson really put a strain on my marriage)I wouldn't marry or get with someone that has had kids.this is just my opinion. But if you can be with someone that has children and hsv2 that is great.you have to make your own choices about this situation.

I totally agree but if it’s all about the fact that this possibly great human being has herpes and that the deciding factor I think it’s crazy to think that u won’t run into another person with the same conditions. I just feel that it shouldn’t be ultimately the deciding factor if someone is great person as it’s hard to even find that these days. 

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Some countries health services point blank refuse to do blood tests the nhs, the herpes virus association, std clinic and my gp catagorically refused me so just getting tested is not easy when professionals tell you not to do something you trust them. 

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On 11/20/2018 at 1:59 PM, TopJimmy said:

I am new on the dating scene as I am recently divorced after being married for 17 years.  The thought never even crossed my mind to ask so I was very fortunate.  The girl in question has been divorced for 3 years and she told me she got it from the guy she had first relationship with after her divorce and he never told her.  She really is a cool person and our connection/attraction was instant.  The problem is that she lives 2 hours away and has kids as well just like me so neither one of us is moving.  If she didn’t have the virus it would be easier to just have and go with it but knowing that she does has made me look deeper into whether or not this would even work out long term  which at this point due to th distance and our kids I just don’t see it happening.  I hope that makes sense.

@TopJimmy This bit does make me question when you say "The problem is that she lives 2 hours away and has kids as well just like me so neither one of us is moving.  If she didn’t have the virus it would be easier to just have and go with it but knowing that she does has made me look deeper into whether or not this would even work out long term  which at this point due to th distance and our kids I just don’t see it happening" (so bearing in mind,you are aware it will be difficult to maintain a relationship because you both live far apart)  So if she didn't have hsv2 or didn't know she had it you would be then willing to sleep with her knowing that you will never pursue a relationship anyway because of distance. I think you need to maybe think of dating people closer to home or otherwise with this woman it seems to me you would only be then having sex with her anyway knowing that there is no chance of a relationship unless of course she was accepting that this won't become of anything else then that's fine. I believe just because I now have hsv2 doesn't make me the "risky one" I believe it makes it even more scarier for us as we don't want to take the chance of catching something else so I am most likely from now on go to a sti clinic with the guy before intimacy as by experience of catching this from a guy he knew had it but said he was "clean and never had any problems" I can't now accept what someone tells me as unfortunetely not everyone in the world is honest. 

This is the best thing about having this is that I always wanted a relationship and wasn't interested in one night stands and hook ups so when my time comes when I do meet a nice man with good intentions that I deserve then I am more likely to meet someone who wants a relationship too. I think in a way if this lady also would prefer a relationship then your not the man for her if you haven't took the time to really get to know her and just thinking about the sex part even though you both live apart..think this just answers it for you and puts everything into perspective.

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Regarding the uk clinics not testing people for hsv2 or hsv1 unless they have a fresh sore that they can swab to diagnose. I asked the lady at the clinic why they don't test for this as it puts people like myself in risk of catching it without people knowing their sti status and she said because a swab gives an accurate result where as a blood test doesn't always pick up anti bodies so people don't get an accurate result this way so you could get a negative blood test result for hsv2 but still carry it.

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