Disclosing

[Jenn88]

Some of you have read posts before where I talk about the guy that I am I love with whom I have no disclosed to bc I am scared. I’m scared of how he will react, scared he will b mad that I’ve known and haven’t told him.... but my guilt is consuming me.... and I need to tell him...

 

i am definitely going to play it off like I just found out but my issue is I don’t know how to tell him or bring it up. I recently had a colopscopy done by gyn so I’m thinking of saying that’s how we found it but I don’t k ow how to bring it up or what to say. I’m 95 percent sure he is the one that gave it to me and he doesn’t k ow he has it but there was a period where we separated for 8 months and I was with someone else but that was over a year ago and I just got diagnosed in September. 3 days after he and I had sex and the day before he told me he had blisters. I noticed mine the day after 

 

any suggestions or ideas on how to tell him 

[100918]

I would not lie and tell him that you just found out. If you found out recently, I would start the conversation by telling that you want to talk to him about something. Then tell him that you recently found out, and if he asks why you didn't tell him earlier, tell him the truth. I would probably not go with "I was scared of your reaction", but maybe something more like, "I was still learning about what it meant and coming to terms and becoming okay with it myself, and I didn't want to talk to you about it until I understood it more and could talk to you about it with knowledge". At least for me, all of that is true. Maybe it is for you too. 

Any man worth anything will understand that you needed some time to digest what you had been told.

When I received the phone call from my doctor that my routine STD testing that I had asked for came back positive for HSV2, I was FLOORED. I was in shock and did not believe it. And within 15 minutes, I texted the guy I had just started seeing and disclosed to him. Nearly lost him completely because I was freaked out, so HE freaked out. If I could do it over again, I would have taken that time to stop and learn more and then disclose with the above explanation. Fortunately, once I had a chance to calm down and do that research, he and I did talk about it again, and we are currently planning the next time we see each other. So, even if he initially has a bad reaction, it doesn't mean he won't come around once he has a chance to learn more and come to terms with what it could potentially mean for himself.