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Lvsandy

disclosing via text

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ok so making plans for Tuesday and of course its been about sex. do I just get it over with or wait and tell him in person?? I am so confused. I like him and not sure how to go about this

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I was told over text and I am still angry about it. 

Had I been told to my face I would have asked so many more questions.

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were you told before or after. I have a weird situation where one partner told after we had sex and it hurt so when he broke it off I got tested twice and negative. then 4 years later first outbreak new partner and he was ok with it so I assumed it was him that I got it from 

im gonna tell him in person. although the rejection would be easier via text he may be nice about it 

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he asked for a raincheck. he did this over the summer as well and that is why I joined this website. so glad I didn't tell him Sunday. secret is still safe 

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It’s a great question! It’s come up a lot on these forums over the years (I’ll try to remember to search for another good thread on this topic next time I’m at my computer). You know, having *any* important conversation via text (not just disclosing) is a double-edged sword: on one side, you’re avoiding feeling the potential rejection/pain/fear/awkwardness; but on the other, you’re also distancing yourself from the intimacy (and shared humanity) that comes with face-to-face. (Ah, so old-fashioned, right?) 😉 

And here’s the kicker/mindfuck: it’s sometimes those very things we were trying to avoid that actually help to create more intimacy and trust, which creates more connection. 

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he stood me up and has not contacted me since Tuesday night. in my heart I want to think he has h too and that's why he does this. he is the reason I joined this site. it has been very helpful in coping. my head is telling me to never talk to him again and someday I will meet someone who will accept me for every little thing

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